


Equilibrium (on hiatus lol sorry)

by dropsofgold



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), And the rest of the Naegi family, Background Naegi Komaru, Exploring Character, Friends to Lovers, Gonna dive into how they'd interact as much as I can, Hope vs. Despair, Komaeda needs friends, Like ooo just wait..., Lots of luck, M/M, Naegi wants to help, Slow Burn, Ultimate Talent Development Plan (Dangan Ronpa)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22264726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dropsofgold/pseuds/dropsofgold
Summary: Naegi Makoto is now attending Hope's Peak Academy and is eager to do his best along with everyone else... however there is one particular individual who grabs his attention.This story explores what it would be like if the two lucksters crossed paths in a world without any tragedy's despair.
Relationships: Komaeda Nagito/Naegi Makoto
Comments: 85
Kudos: 309





	1. First Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I have recently fallen in love with Komaegi, I think it has so much potential and not enough content... so here I am! 
> 
> Warning: this gonna be s l o w slow
> 
> (I plan to update this once a week, but we'll see if I can stick to that. I have so much planned tho!!)

_An average high school student._

_That’s all I am._

_At least that’s what I keep repeating to everyone and myself._

**__** _Yet here I am, in front of Hope’s Peak Academy, about to go inside. I can’t believe I’m standing here. I don’t know if someone like me can survive in a school like this…_

_I was only admitted because I was chosen through a lottery and granted the title of Ultimate Lucky Student; it’s not even a real talent, but thanks to chance it got me a ticket to the best school ever. I almost decided not to come, but if I manage to graduate from here I’m set for life… so why not at least try?_

Naegi Makoto tightly grasps the acceptance letter in his hand and steps towards the doors leading inside. He enters the main hall, heart racing. The letter had stated to wait here for an orientation meeting of sorts, but there’s no one here…

The confused teen raises a finger to his cheek and scratches it in confusion.

“How can I be the only one here..?” He mutters to himself as he looks around trying to find some sort of explanation and spots a clock on the wall. “Ah, 7:10 am?! I’m 50 minutes early… I guess my nervousness is to blame.”

With all the extra time available it would be wise to get a closer look at the school, he is a student after all, Naegi can’t imagine anyone being upset with him for doing so.

He limits his gazing to the first floor, going any further could end up with him getting lost and calling out for help before the school day has even started! How embarrassing that would be…

As Naegi looks around the building’s interior he spots a hallway leading to some dorms. Walking inside he finds multiple doors with miniature pictures of each Ultimate, signaling to the students whose room is who’s. Which reminds him…

“Oh! Maizono-san will be here soon as well!” He sighs in relief while holding up a hand to his chest. Maizono Sayaka was a student who had gone to the same middle school as him; admittedly they hadn’t talked much, but it’s better than having no one. “I know one person at least, I’m not completely alone. I can’t wait to see her…”

Before Naegi can continue that thought he is interrupted by a sudden loud ring which echoes across the entire building, causing him to jump. 

_Why was that ring so loud?_!

An answer is given within seconds as he sees students pour into the building. It’s time.

“The meet!! I completely forgot!”

The boy rushes to the main hall, desperately moving his legs as fast as he can, maneuvering his way through all the students before him.

His first day is off to a great start.

**\-----**

There are several things Naegi learned after the orientation meeting.

One, is that his classmates look and are extremely cool, how can he ever compare to them? They all got scouted by Hope's Peak personally, while all he got was a letter.

Second, the first floor contains the dorms of the 78th class only. The other buildings outside are for the 76th class, 77th class and reserve course. Apparently that's where ordinary students are allowed to enroll and get a chance to receive an Ultimate title. Naegi feels weird knowing he's not among them.

Third, he’s apparently not the only one with such a… lackluster talent. Naegi’s sure that whoever they are must be more lucky than himself, after all most of his luck is bad. Nothing can get any worse than that.

He’ll have to continue this train of thought later, for now it’s time to focus on what really matters: lunch.

The cafeteria is amazing, and the food even more so! The Ultimate Chef helps out from time to time and he decided to go all out for the new class. Naegi cannot wait to dig in, but before he can he has to find a spot to eat.

_Hmm… I think Maizono-san and a couple others went outside to the courtyard. I guess I will too, I haven’t gotten that close with anyone else yet._

With a hint of nervousness he makes his way outside with his lunch in both hands, eyes scanning the area around him for a familiar head of blue hair. After a while he spots her sitting on a bench near the entrance to the school's track. Next to her are two other girls, one is Asahina Aoi, the Ultimate Swimmer. The other… Naegi doesn't actually know, but she’s blonde and looks very eager to be here.

As Naegi gets closer Maizono notices him and her eyes widen with joy. Her arm jolts up and waves at him animatedly.

“Naegi-kun!! Come sit with us! Isn’t Hope’s Peak just amazing?” She asks him as he sits down beside her. “It sure is! What do you think Asahina-san? Oh, and uhh…” He blanks when it comes to the other girl. He forgot to ask her name. 

Too late now, so much for a good first impression… 

“Oh pardon my impoliteness!”

Her impoliteness? Naegi reddens in shame, he should be the one apologizing. 

“I’m Sonia Nevermind! Feel free to call me by just Sonia, I get my last name a lot already at home… being the Ultimate Princess and all. I just want to be a normal high schooler here.” She declares brightly and smiles at Naegi with an energy that feels contagious.

“Ultimate Princess?!! That’s amazing Ne- er Sonia-san!”

“I know right? Apparently her kingdom is huge! I can only imagine how big and fancy the pools must be! I wanna go so bad!” 

Maizono giggles at Asahina who continues marveling over Sonia’s extravagant home. Naegi takes this as a chance to start eating and brings his food to his mouth. While chewing he ganders at the view before him, all the ultimate students just chatting about themselves, enjoying their first day together… except for one. A white haired boy sits underneath a tree in a secluded grassy corner, far from the rest of the students.

_Huh? What is that guy doing all by himself?! Why isn’t anyone talking to him?_

Naegi finds himself unintentionally drowning out the other three’s chatter and focusing on the isolated student. He can’t just let him stay by himself all alone! He must be so lonely… if it weren’t for Maizono he’d be in the same situation! He has to go talk to him.

Without hesitation, Naegi stands up and grabs his lunch; determination in his eyes he begins walking towards him.

“Naegi-kun? Where are you going?” Maizono’s voice calls out with confusion and he turns to explain, slowing down his pace momentarily.

“There’s someone all by himself on the other side of the courtyard! I can’t just let him be by himself, I’m going to go talk to him.” Sonia’s eyes widen at that and she averts her eyes, not saying anything. That’s odd…

“Oh, that’s so kind of you! Tell us how it goes later!” Asahina shouts out as she waves good-bye along with Maizono, Sonia however remains silent, a serious look on her face.

_Weird… well no time to worry about that, I gotta talk to that lonely student!_

**\-----**

The breeze is soft and the sun shines as brightly as usual, the grass is soft beneath his body and the friendly chatter from the courtyard is beautiful. He may not be interacting with anyone, but this alone is enough, he’s honored to even be in the same area as these talented beings.

He could be commanded by the administration of the school to never go near any of them and he’d comply without a fight. All he needs is this to be content.

A person like himself can’t ask for more anyway. He appreciates what he has.

A smile forms onto his face and he closes his eyes, leaning back on the tree behind him.

This moment couldn’t be more peaceful. The good side of his luck must be working in favor of his wishes today.

“Hey!”

Or not. 

His eyes shoot open at the sudden voice.

“Uh, um, hi! I’m Naegi Makoto and well I saw you all by yourself… and, ah, I just wanted to say hi…”

Right before him is a very short and nervous boy, despite the confidence and sturdiness his last shout had been. He's trailing off mid sentence then stumbling over the next. Naegi must be feeling pretty regretful about approaching him right about now.

“Hm? You want to talk to _me_?” He chuckles and shakes his head in disbelief. Naegi must be one of the new ones. “Now why would someone as wonderful as Naegi-kun want to interact with such a waste of space like me?”

“H-Huh?” Naegi’s beautiful, round, hazel eyes widen in surprise at the words uttered a few seconds ago, not having expected that response at all. No one ever does the first time speaking to him though. “What? Why would you say that! You’re not a waste of space, why would you think that?” 

“But it’s true. Everyone here in front of me has such incredible talents; radiating so much hope amongst each other. I, on the other hand, have nothing like that, I’m just meaningless scum…”

_Yes. Scum. Scum unworthy of attending Hope's Peak._

_A talent as insignificant as mine shouldn't matter enough to place me among so many students with so much hope inside their vessels._

_I have nothing._

_Nothing._

“...their talents? Oh! Are you feeling overwhelmed by all the talents around you? I feel the same! Don't worry, I'll tell you mine. Although… it isn't really one, but I'm sure yours isn't as bad!"

An eyebrow is raised in interest; what could Naegi's talent possibly be?

"Mine is the worst talent there is here, no offense to the other guy who has it, but being the Ultimate Lucky student really isn't anything special at all…"

His smile gets thinner, face going dark and eyes getting clouded over. So that's how it is.

_He's the same as I._

_…_

_……._

_………...pathetic._

"Hmm. Yeah that's nothing at all is it, Naegi? You must feel like trash around the others, don't you? Their greatness just radiates in front of you, while you just stand around with no value."

"Um ...kind of but actually I-"

"You gaze at the other students around you and think about how much hope they have. You notice how they'll build the future, inspiring everyone and shining an even bigger hope upon them!"

His smile has returned, but now larger than before. No longer feeling sincere, but forced. Empty.

"But you're nothing. There's no talent inside of you, all you are is garbage. You'll never be as important, you'll never have the hope they have. All you have is despair. Unless you give yourself up, and offer yourself as a stepping stone for their hope. Only then will you get a taste of what they have from a distance!"

A dry and heavy wheeze leaves his mouth, as well as a small drop of drool. The sight of this makes Naegi extremely uncomfortable and causes him to fumble his hands around a bit.

"Well… um I don't know about ...all that. I mean, I may not have a talent as incredible as the others or shape the future with it, but I'm sure I can do my own part as well. Plus I think we can all have hope inside no matter whether we have a talent or not. We don't have to base our worth on that kind of stuff…"

_The passion in his words just cleansed out all the buzzing in my mind. It's like he knows what's true, how things really are. Is there a chance that Naegi could right?_

_…_

_……_

_……. ~~yes.~~_

Eyes stare blankly at the short speech the smaller delivered as Naegi averts his dull naive eyes, unsure of what to say next.

"Th-That's just what I believe though!" Naegi hastily adds,

"Is that so."

"Eh?"

"I never saw it that way before."

His smile has completely left his face, a blank face replacing it, no expression can be read.

"That's a new viewpoint. Interesting. So you really think us lucksters can be equals to all those talented people?"

"Ah! Wait, you mean you're the other-!!!"

"Yes I am. Explains a lot doesn't it?" He muses, followed by a light sigh.

_It took him a while to notice that. As expected of someone so average I suppose. But… it feels like there's something more to Naegi-kun._

"Um yeah, but also no? Our talents may not be much, but you matter- uh… oh. I forgot to ask for your name." Naegi slowly hangs his head in embarrassment at the realization. .

Naegi really is all over the place, but it's ~~extremely~~ endearing.

"My name is… not important."

"What?! Of course it is! Please tell me. Don't be so harsh on yourself, please! I'm sorry I forgot to ask, please please tell me!"

The concern deep within in Naegi's eyes is plain to see, he supposes he can at least give him that for all the trouble Naegi's gone through for listening to him.

"Alright, alright. My name's Komaeda Nagito. Not that it matters, garbage shouldn't be called by a name. I wouldn't be mad if you forgot it."

"No! You're not garbage Komaeda-kun! I'll prove it, there's more to a person than just their talent, I'll show you just let me-"

The sharp ring of a bell pierces through our conversation, cutting that last sentence short.

"Ah!" He looks around and see everyone getting up to go back to their classes, that lunch period went by quickly. "I guess time's up Komaeda-kun I’ll-" 

Naegi turns to say goodbye before he heads back to class, only to realize Komaeda's already gone.


	2. A New Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I accidentally broke the phone I had all my plans on
> 
> I'm hoping to get it fixed on the weekend, if not I'll just go by what I remember so it's all good 
> 
> My komaegi fic cannot be stopped that easily!

It’s been weeks since Naegi last saw Komaeda. 

The last spot they met up in has been empty ever since; the white haired teen is nowhere in sight. That doesn’t mean he’s given up searching for him though. It only made him more determined to find him.

Every lunch period Naegi would keep his eyes on the lookout. Sometimes he’d felt like he’d found him, standing by a corner or in the distance, but Naegi would blink or be blocked by some people momentarily then notice after he was gone.

Komaeda definitely is hiding from him. 

_But why? I don’t understand, did I do something wrong? If I did I want to find out what and apologize! But I have to find him first..._

This has been frustrating him so much that he’d forgotten about what he was supposed to be doing today: participate in the school’s sports festival. The scavenger hunt specifically.

“Listen Naegi-kun, we do not have all day!” A voices huffs out, clearly annoyed by how long he’s been taking. “Just take any card and go. You must participate, it’s your duty as a student!”

At those words he immediately snaps out of his thoughts, face heating up from embarrassment. He was supposed to be picking a card!

“I’m so sorry Ishimaru-kun! I’ll just take… um this one!”

He grabs the one in the center and briskly walks away in shame all while reading his newly assigned task.

“Find someone who is taller than you.”

_Oh ...that’s really easy, which means I’ll get to the goal before everyone!_

Naegi’s eyes dart around, looking for the closest person to him and spots Togami in the distance. Excited he bursts into a sprint, already tasting sweet sweet victory-

Only to trip over a slightly longer tuft of grass and slam onto his face. 

_So much for the taste of victory_. 

He thinks this to himself as he spits dirt out of his mouth, feeling a bit disheartened.

Still, he can win this… even with that self-esteem wrecking display. Naegi sits up, and brushes off his sleeves. He props himself back up now ready to continue, but he was stopped by a voice behind him.

“Naegi-kun? You’re a mess.”

Trying to locate the voice, Naegi whips his head around and is face to face with the very same male he’d been trying to hunt down all this time.

“Komaeda-kun!! I’ve been looking for you!”

“Really? Huh, what’s your card say?” Komaeda points at the now bent up card Naegi is holding in his hand with curiosity.

“My card? I’m supposed to look for someone taller than me and almost everyone is ...heh” Naegi can’t help but hang his head a bit at that. Is he ever going to get the growth spurt he oh so desperately needs? “It’s good though! It makes it really easy for me.”

“So that’s why! My good luck must be on my side today because I need someone short. You more than enough fit the description.”

Naegi pretends he didn't hear that last bit.

“Oh! That’s perfect! We can get double the points together then!”

Naegi grabs Komaeda’s arm and gleefully tugs him along to reach the goal first.

“Hey, hey, no need to rush! We can take as long as we want Naegi-kun.” Komaeda offers, trying to get the other to slow down. “My luck will make sure we get there first.”

Naegi stops abruptly at that statement and looks at him in confusion, not understanding what luck has to do with winning the race at all.

“Uhhh… what do you mean? If we don’t go now someone else will get there first!”

Komaeda smiles at the perplexed Naegi in front of him and chuckles. 

“Surely you must know, for every unlucky thing that happens a lucky one follows.”

Komaeda looks over at Naegi expectedly and he responds with an even more puzzled face. After a long pause the older decides to explain, but it's clear he doesn't understand why he has to.

“Yesterday I forgot my notebooks at school and found it later today in the trash, stained. I ended up getting bad grades on all my homework because of that.” He looks at Naegi with a weird indifference, unfazed by it all. Naegi’s mouth on the other hand has dropped open in shock.

“Whaaat?! Really? That’s so unfair! It’s not your fault someone else-”

“It’s okay. It’s a small price to pay to win the scavenger hunt. Now my luck will guarantee that I win with you.”

“Well, I don’t think we can anymore… we’ve been wasting a lot of time talking.” Naegi sighs in noticable disappointment.

“Oh don’t worry about that, my luck always find a way. Last week I wanted to buy a new drink from a place that had just opened up. I was just short 100 yen, I had forgotten to put more money in my wallet that morning. I still decided to go anyway. As I walked over, I got side tracked by some stray cats that started to chase me. I ended up getting away with only a couple of scratches by hiding in an alleyway. After I waited for them to leave I noticed exactly 100 yen behind a trash can.” 

A gasp from Naegi leaves his mouth at that, very impressed. However, Komaeda wasn’t done. “I made my way to the shop, but ended up coming face to face with a line that stretched outside of the store to the next block. It would take all day for my turn. I wasn’t worried though, as I got closer I heard a sudden scream. A bunch of people in line started running away, the reason? A couple of rats had snuck in. Quickly the line disbanded leaving only me. The shop didn’t close though, those stray cats from earlier appeared and drove all the rats away before they could get behind the counter. So I was able to get my order and leave. My luck is an endless cycle.”

“That’s...that’s amazing! So much bad and good luck, but you got your drink in the end!” Naegi says in awe, he couldn’t fathom having his own luck be that complex.

“Hm, I guess. Why are you so impressed though? You’re a luckster too. Don’t you have that happen all the time?” The taller curtly inquires and crosses his arms.

Naegi’s sparkly eyes fade back to normal instantly at that question, his finger rising up to his cheek.

“Ehh it’s nothing like that actually. My luck is actually just bad luck, except for the acceptance letter I got to enroll here, but other than that… it’s always bad.”

“Huh? That’s impossible. That’s not how it works.”

“I guess for you it’s like the cycle you told me, but that doesn’t work for me. I really wish it did though! My bad luck is really frustrating... it scares my parents. I end up getting caught up bad situations or just ruin the day.” Naegi forces out a small laugh at that, trying to make it sound less serious than it is before continuing. Komaeda remains quiet.

“I once tried to go with my sister to the movies, but the line was really long. Once we got to order, it turned out they ran out of seats for what we really wanted so we chose something else. When we tried to get snacks they told us they ran out! Nothing was left, no candy or popcorn! Bummed, we went to our seats but they wouldn’t fold out! They were stuck in the default position and the people sitting in the row in front had huge hair so we couldn’t even see anything. Then right when it got to the plot twist… the film broke and we all had to leave since they couldn’t fix it. We got refunded in tickets for a different movie, but my sister hated the trailer for it so we didn’t go. The theater wouldn’t give us anything else and the showing was for that same night so we couldn’t sell it or anything. I just left them on a table for someone else to find. We went home really upset that day.”

After explaining Naegi’s mood has lowered significantly, remembering how irritating that day was. He looks up to see Komaeda’s reaction and is met with wide eyes and his face being much paler than it usually is.

“Komaeda-kun? ...What’s wrong?”

Speechless, Komaeda raises a shaky hand and points behind the other luckster, face in distraught. Not understanding, Naegi turns around, just in time to witness a pair of students cross the goal together. The first, second and third places have been taken by several people who made it before the two.

“Aw man... I knew we should’ve ran over! That’s okay though, it’s just an event for fun, right Komaeda-kun?”

“I...that wasn’t...I don’t...”

“Komaeda-kun?”

Before either of the two can say anything, a loud whistle is heard; the event has finished and the students are to continue on to the next.

“Oh, I’ll see you later then! Hopefully we have the same event again!” Naegi chimes out with a small grin, running over to those in charge of the event set ups.

**\-----**

When Komaeda decided to engage with Naegi he hadn’t expected much.

He knew Naegi had been looking all over for him, but he didn’t really feel like interacting with him. He isn’t as interesting as the other Ultimates. His mindset is hard to understand as well. He doesn’t value other people’s talents like he should. Not to mention, the trouble Naegi had comprehending the concept of Hope versus despair and how it applies to them. It’s just… annoying. 

There's also the fact that he doesn't want to put the younger at risk of harm by letting him get near him too often.

Nonetheless, he finally decided to humor the other luckster and went to talk to him after spotting Naegi tripping over grass and making a fool over himself.

He hadn’t expected it to end up like this.

Komaeda had never seen his luck fail him like that. He was supposed to win, he was supposed to experience his next round of good luck as his cycle dictates. That’s how it’s always been. One bad thing then a good one, then bad and so on. However, that wasn’t the case this time around.

_We hadn’t even stalled for very long! How is this possible?!_

There’s also Naegi’s luck to account for. It’s nothing like his at all. He hadn’t expected that either. Komaeda doesn’t understand it whatsoever; how can Naegi’s talent be so different from his? It’s the same talent!

_I think Naegi-kun has something to do with this. I need to find out why. There must be more to this._

He has to investigate this further.

And so he did.

He spent the rest of the sports festival being Naegi’s partner in everything. As it turns out, his luck continues as normal. He's able to get everyone out of his way when trying to be with Naegi, all it takes are a few self inflicted bruises as his bad luck and they end up in the same events together each time due to good luck. Nothing obstructs his luck yet. It's all as it should be...

However, the moment he pairs up with Naegi is when nothing goes as planned anymore. He can’t even feel lucky, it’s like the atmosphere completely does a 180. They don’t do exceptionally well or disastrously terrible.

Just average.

Even with all the self-degrading things he believes about himself, he knows his luck always comes into play into his life. So to be stripped away from it like that… it’s agonizing.

...At first. Now it’s sort of liberating? He hasn't ever been this average.

Not since…

…

……

_Have I ever been…?_

The two are now resting at the bleachers while waiting for the final scores to be revealed. Komaeda knows for certain they didn’t even make it to the top 5. He finds that he's actually okay with that.

“Hey Naegi-kun...”

Naegi puts down his water bottle from his mouth and caps it shut, taking a moment to catch his breath before responding. All the events had left the two exhausted, sweaty, and very dehydrated. 

Truth be told Komaeda was feeling a lot worse than the smaller, he's never had to actually try this hard before and his body could barely handle it. He's doing his best to not make the pain he's feeling right now discernible to the younger.

“Yeah? What is it?” 

“I had a lot of fun today, thank you for partnering with me in everything. Even though we didn’t win anything, you’ve shown me a new Hope today.”

“No problem, Komaeda-kun! It really was tons of fun! You did great out there, I’m so glad we got lucky enough to be together through it all!” His face has light up, beaming at the older teen. “I don’t even care that we didn’t win anything, just partnering up was enough for me.”

Komaeda agrees with a smile, it'd been a while since he'd been able to just do an event with friends without worries.

The school’s speakers interrupt their talk, signaling all the students to make their way to the podium for the top scoring students to be revealed. As the two make their way over Naegi is chattering nonstop with enthusiasm, trying to guess who made it to the top. As charming as Naegi may be when he’s all animated like that, Komaeda’s thoughts are elsewhere.

He's come to a conclusion: their lucks cancel out, which in a sense leaves them both talentless when together. While he thought he'd hate the idea of being so low as to be comparable with an ordinary average person on the street, he can’t help feeling safe around Naegi as embarrassing as it may sound. He’s never been this ordinary before. 

It’s comforting and ignites a Hope inside him he hasn’t felt in a long time.

_Is it wrong to feel this way?_

_I want it, this Hope, to last forever…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins...


	3. His Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I was able to recover all my plans! I won't have to rely on memory anymore, which is good since I'm not too good at remembering things...
> 
> Also it's Makoto's birthday! (well it isn't for me yet, but it is in a lot of places in the world already!)  
> Love that hope egg

Komaeda understands he can be unnerving, he isn't the most liked guy after all. Komaeda understands he can be unnerving, he isn't the most liked guy after all. 

He can't help all the love he has for his classmates though, they all just have so much Hope and talent that it makes him want to praise them constantly. All of them have so much to offer to the entire world. He, however, has nothing of the sort. 

Luck can't do anything like that, it's useless. To make up for that Komaeda likes to offer himself up to Ultimates, so they can use him as they please in order to cultivate their talents and Hopes into something even greater.

Which is precisely why they're not so fond of him. They hate when he brings that up. None of them understand the logic of it all.

Normally he'd be fine with it, continue being himself and do his best to make people understand as always, but that's not something he can risk right now.

Naegi is a very kind and light-hearted person. He sees the good in everyone and does his best to show them that. It makes Komaeda almost regret trying to push him away at first. Now more than ever that's something he wants to avoid. 

Komaeda can't help being drawn to him now. The fact that their talents cancel out makes something inside him leap. No matter how hard he wants to deny it, he wants it again. To not be...lucky, to feel the Hope he did that moment.

Yet, he can tell the younger must have some limits, Naegi can't be unconditionally accepting all the time. Especially not towards someone like Komaeda. One wrong move and he'd ruin everything.

He needs to get Naegi’s Hope and secure it without causing him to cower away like everyone else.

Causing despair would usually be the key to this type of thing, but with the way their talents work...

So in order to achieve this Komaeda needs help from someone who can teach him a different method; the girl who managed to befriend his whole class with ease.

“Hello Nanami-san..”

The mauve haired girl looks up from the handheld she was playing games with, slight shock on her face.

“Komaeda-kun? That’s a little strange, I’m usually the one who seeks you out first.”

“Yeah...you’re really good at that you know? I need help with that.”

Nanami’s face softens and looks at him in confusion, not quite getting what he means.

“You need my help…?”

“Yes. You easily approach not only the Ultimates in our class but the newer ones as well. You even befriended Hinata without any problems.”

“Honorifics, we’ve talked about this! Hinata-kun is very sweet and doesn’t need talent to be a good person!” Nanami puffs out her cheeks in anger and furrows her eyebrows a tad. Doing that doesn’t really make her look intimidating though, more like a grumpy puppy. “I’ll help you but please treat him nicer!”

Komaeda feels his eye twitch at the request and resists the urge to scowl.

_Why would I show respect for someone as lowly as him. He's worse than myself. I can see right through Hinata’s ways. He’s using Nanami-san and she refuses believe it._

Komaeda cannot say that outloud, not when he has so much to lose, but he wishes he could. 

He'll make her realize it one day.

“Fine, fine. It was just a slip of the tongue anyway, I'll make sure to not do it again.” Komaeda reassures her, mouth feeling bitter from the forced lie. “Just tell me, how do you… make friends others so quickly?”

Nanami smiles, her face lit up with excitement. Her arms rise with her hands curled into small fists. 

“Ah! So you wanna finally make friends? I'm so happy! I knew you'd come around, everyone deserves friends. Our class cares a lot for you so it won't be hard to-”

“That's not what I meant.” Komaeda crosses his arms and looks at her with a blank stare. “You know how I feel about that.”

“Oh…” Nanami’s arms lower and her cheery demeanor crumbles apart. “Well, what did you mean then?”

“I want to get closer to one of the underclassmen. He's like me, lucky, but there's something else to him I can't quite explain. I want to get to know him better.”

“Oh! The same talent? That's pretty cool and a good step in the right direction!”

Komaeda can tell she still wants him to bond with the rest of the class. No chance. What they have now is good, there's no need to change that.

“So, how should I approach him? What do you usually do?”

“Um, I just like to invite people to play games with me. I let them pick and we play together! We bond over it since they get to choose what they like and I just like playing games in general.”

“...that's not very helpful. You know I don't play games.” Gaming always ends with Komaeda breaking the game with glitches or winning within seconds. Everyone hates it, it's extremely frustrating for them all including himself. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“Oh… right. Hm, I guess I'd just talk about what he likes then? I don't really know other than that… this is actually the reason why I'm so bad at dating sims. I can't play games with the characters so I don't really have any way to connect...sorry that I can't help more.”

Nanami hangs her head in shame, not knowing what else to say. She's never had to try a different method before.

This is disappointing, but to be expected. She is the Ultimate Gamer, these kinds of people tend to be more socially disconnected. Of course sharing her talent with others is how she gets around that. 

Shame he can't do that.

Not that he wants to…

Not really.

_~~It would be nice if I could somehow use my talent to make others happy.~~ _

_My talent isn't really a talent anyway._

_~~I wish I didn't have it.~~ _

“That's okay Nanami-san, I understand. Thank you for doing your best to teach worthless trash like me.”

“Komaeda-kun you aren't worthless trash…”

“If you say so.”

He walks away and exits the classroom before she can open her mouth to continue. It's time he starts his mission: _befriend _Naegi.__

____

Komaeda hasn't gone out of his way to befriend someone in a long time. He can't even remember the last time he did it. Whatever, it went wrong anyway, why would he want to remember?

____

The thought of this makes him nervous. Not that he wasn't already, it just adds on to his stacked up plate of nervousness.

____

His luck has come in handy for his search, since he was able to find Naegi exactly where he wanted to: in the library. The younger’s sitting at a table by himself in a corner, it looks like he's preparing himself for some future exams.

____

Komaeda has always been fond of the library, it's a nice small get away from the annoying lifestyle he has to endure. Being inside it calms his nerves a bit. Also reading is pretty fun.

____

Unfortunately, this too has a small price to pay, for there are only a couple other students besides Naegi and himself. Meaning he'd be the only one talking to Naegi in this quiet room. He can't help sweating a bit at the realization.

____

Despite how uncertain Komaeda feels about it all he pushes himself forward and approaches Naegi.

____

“Hey Naegi-kun.”

____

\-----

____

All his life Naegi had been average at school. Whether it be school work, presentations, or exams he'd always do average. 

____

It's frustrating. It's not like he doesn't try, because oh boy does he try. If he doesn't try his grade falls, it's not something he achieves naturally. Naegi has to spend days going over his material over and over in order to retain enough of the information to get an average grade.

____

Being enrolled at Hope's Peak is no different, sort of. There's only one slight change, his tests are more… 'personalized’.

____

There's a section in each one that doesn't even relate to his course material at all. It'll have the most random questions he doesn't know anything about like: 'How many days does it take for a chick to pop out of an egg?’ or 'Who invented water slides?’. This section always has multiple choice questions. Apparently it's to test his luck. Figures.

____

Aside from that the rest of his tests are the same and Naegi has to do his best to keep his grade by studying at the library whenever possible.

____

_Err... where was that page on how biomes-_

____

“Hey Naegi-kun.”

____

_That voice!_

____

Naegi peels his face away from the textbooks he was buried in and faces the person the voice came from, thankful to have an excuse to take a break from all the immense studying.

____

“Komaeda-kun!!!”

____

Naegi’s eyes widen and he slaps his hands over his mouth. That was way too loud, he has to keep his voice down, this is a library!

____

“Ah, I mean… hi Komaeda-kun.” Naegi hushly repeats, this time his voice was barely audible.

____

The other chuckles at his silliness and shakes his head.

____

“Haha, don't worry too much about the voice level, there's not many people here.”

____

“That's true, but still…” Naegi quickly glances around then hesitantly lowers his hands. Realizing the other is right he regains his previous energetic composure. “Did you come here to study too?”

____

“Hmm, yes I did. Do you mind if someone like me sits here with you?”

____

“Of course not, we can be study buddies!” Naegi leans over and pulls one of the chairs at the table closer and pats it invitingly.

____

Komaeda smiles at the gesture and makes his way over then sits down. He looks at the stack of books Naegi has on the table in curiosity. His attention then shifts over to the open book Naegi has in front of him and points at it.

____

“You're studying... biology? Interesting.”

____

“Yeah! It's actually pretty cool. The way ecosystems work and well just nature in general is fun to learn about.”

____

“Really? Then I wonder… which is your favorite ecosystem? Surely you must have gotten attached to one.”

____

Naegi brings a hand up and begins to think. He hadn’t really thought about it before. 

____

“That’s hard to answer… I guess… I would say the forest. I really like all the animals there and it looks very peaceful. I like stuff like that.”

____

“That’s a good choice, forests are very calming. I like places where I can just relax.” Komaeda’s eyes dart to the side for a moment. Naegi swears he just saw a drop of sweat roll down from his forehead. 

____

_Is...he okay? Why is he sweating? It’s normal room temperature in here...is he nervous about something? I should ask._

____

“Komaeda-kun are you alright?”

____

“Ah! Um, it’s nothing. I was just thinking about something. Anyway, you said you like the animals there, right? Are you fond of any in particular?”

____

_Is it just me or...is he getting even more nervous? I don’t think he’d like me prying though, I’ll just leave it alone._

____

“Uhm...that’s even harder to answer! I think bears. They're so big and cuddly looking! I'd love to pet one if it would let me. But also wolves maybe? I think they’re neat too, being the ancestors of dogs you know? It’s kinda weird how different they are… wolves are dangerous, but dogs are so loyal to people that they’d die for us!”

____

Komaeda’s expression goes blank at that remark. He’s not sweating anymore, but it almost looks like his eyes darkened for a split second.

____

It’s sort of scary.

____

_Did he also just get paler? Nevermind, I can’t just ignore that. I have to find out what’s wrong._

____

“Komaeda-kun…? Please tell me is there something wrong-”

____

Komaeda interrupts his question with a small forced laugh and flashes a fake grin at him.

____

“Oh don’t you worry about someone like me, Naegi-kun. You have more important things to think about, my well being doesn’t matter anyway..”

____

“Hey no don’t say that about yourself, I care about you! I know you don’t think you matter, like you told me the first time we met, but I don’t believe that. If you have something on your mind you should just say it, I would gladly listen to you. That’s what friends are for, right?”

____

In an act of reassurance, Naegi reaches over and clasps one of Komaeda’s hands within his own. They are kind of clammy...

____

The other tenses up, his face flushing at Naegi’s kindness. He yanks his hand away and shakily wraps his arms around himself and averts his eyes, an actual(?) smile tugging at his lips.

____

“Ah, what is this..? Your Hope, it shines so bright, it’s so contagious...it’s wonderful.” He shivers in delight. His flushed face seems to be reddening even more. “To have it up close, It feels amazing. I am unworthy of it and yet…”

____

“H-Huh?!” Naegi’s way too shocked to say anything else.

____

_What is going on?!_

____

“This must be the real reason Hope’s Peak chose you… I was wrong to have insulted you before. But…” Komaeda quickly regains his cool, dropping his arms to lay one on the table instead. He props himself against the other and locks eye contact with Naegi. There’s something...oddly mesmerizing about the way Komaeda’s looking at him right now. Naegi can sense intense and desperate longing behind them. “Did you mean it? Do you really think of me as your...friend?”

____

“Y-Yes I did! Why wouldn’t I?”

____

“I really am ... _lucky_. Thank you. ” Komaeda pushes his chair back and stands up. A content look on his face. “I must go now, but I enjoyed spending time with you today. I hope you did too and… that you’ll let me hang out with you soon again.”

____

“O-Of course!”

____

And with that he leaves the room while waving goodbye, only then does Naegi realize that Komaeda never had any textbooks or notebooks with him in the first place.

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like it all went according to plan, what will Nagito do next?


	4. Doubts and Bonds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story continues and things will finally start to really kick off
> 
> (Aka it turns out that yes this story has a plot)

Quite a bit of time has passed since Komaeda successfully made Naegi his friend.

Naegi is so caring and accepting that he had begun to include Komaeda in anything he could.

If they couldn’t hang out by themselves, Naegi would offer him to join in with his other friends. Komaeda hates the idea of having to force the others to deal with a waste of space such as himself, but if it means being around Naegi then so be it.

Naegi’s presence is a gift to Komaeda, he adores the comfort it brings him. He won’t admit it outloud, but the feeling of having his talent go null...is incredible.

Liberating.

Although it doesn’t always happen.

After some careful analysis Komaeda has realized that whenever he isn’t alone with Naegi their talents come back, which can result in chaos. Several apologies were given to Naegi’s classmates those days. One of the worst days was when he was invited with Naegi to a karaoke night with some of his classmates.

He tried to turn him down, not wanting to subject everyone to his voice. Maizono specifically. An Ultimate Pop Sensation doesn't need that.

Still Naegi insisted and dragged him along, ignoring his words. Everything had gone fine, until it was time to choose who went first.

No one wanted to go first, feeling too embarrassed. Eventually they had decided on choosing who went first randomly through a few rounds of rock paper scissors. 

That's where it all went awry. 

Komaeda can never let himself go into a karaoke room with them again, he can’t risk causing that kind of danger once more. Before they could even finish the first round all the tv screens fizzed out and shot out sparks everywhere. It was horrific. He was lucky enough that none of them got hurt.

_Several Ultimate lives were at stake that day, I cannot let this happen again._

_If we are to be together then we must stay away from everyone else._

This revelation has led to seeking out Naegi when he’s alone as often as possible, if he’s not alone he whisks him away. It doesn’t take much to convince either, Naegi’s kindness stops him from turning down Komaeda.

The two lucksters have hung out almost every day now.

Seeing the two hang out with each other so frequently has brought some concern to the others in his class. They think that Komaeda can't tell when they're whispering about the two in class, but he can.

He may not have as sharp an ear as the amazingly talented Mioda, but their collective whispers aren’t hard to listen in on.

It's not like they're very secretive about it either, whenever class ends none of them get up to leave. They all stay silent for a while, until Komaeda leaves the room.

The moment his foot is out the door he can hear them discuss and debate amongst themselves.

Komaeda doesn't understand the interest, it's pretty straightforward. 

_They just can't see what Naegi truly is I suppose..._

Still, he knows beings as superior as them will figure out what's going on soon, so he isn't bothered.

It’s nothing harmful anyway.

\-----

“That guy is up to something isn't he? Should I go beat him into a pulp?’

“Definitely, you know how weird he is. He must be trying to do something to that scrawny underclassman! So gross.”

“My Twelve Zodiac Generals and I can be of great assistance as well. Say the word and they'll seal that fiend into the underground!”

“WHAAAAT?! For reals? Ibuki is impressed!”

“Wow! I'll will force him to stay there by making him eat a sandwich of knuckles!”

“Hey hey, no don't do any of that.”

Thirteen heads sharply turn to face the desk which the person had spoken from, shocked. 

Nanami lowers her handheld and looks at her classmates disappointedly.

“Why not?! Don’t you see how he drags him away from his class all the time?” Koizumi points out, clearly upset that no one has taken action yet. “This boy needs to be taught a lesson!”

“Well...yes, but that’s not a bad thing.” Nanami raises a finger, face full of thought. “It’s not like what you guys are saying at all...I think.”

“Huh?! Do you know something about what that bastard is doing?!” Kuzuryu walks towards Nanami, Pekoyama following behind. Her fierce red eyes seem to pierce into Nanami’s soul.

Years of graphic boss battle cutscenes have toughened her enough to not feel intimidated.

“Yes, I do. A little bit. A long while ago Komaeda-kun came looking for me. He asked me for some help.” Nanami smiles at the memory. “He asked me how to make friends! I couldn’t help that much, but I think it worked… he looks so happy around the new student.”

The two in front of her share a quick glance before Kuzuryu speaks again. “Tch, that guy is full of shit, he never wanted to be anyone’s friend before. I bet he lied to you to get you off his back.”

Pekoyama nods in agreement.

“Nanami-san, he is a potential threat to the underclassmen. This is suspicious behavior. Do not forget about the bombing incident. I think we should take care of this.”

“His heart was in the right place when that happened… you guys are just misunderstanding him! Komaeda-kun is a good person, he isn’t planning anything bad!” She stands up from her chair and looks at the rest of her classmates, her eyes pleading with them. “You believe me right?”

An uncomfortable silence fills the classroom, no one says a word.

“But… it’s the truth! You have to leave him alone he’s not-”

“Nanami-san, you may be great at completing games, but this is serious. You trust in others too easily. We will handle this situation.” Pekoyama says curtly, dismissing Nanami.

At a loss for words, she faces Kuzuryu, hoping he’d have something different to say. Kuzuryu simply bows his head and leads Pekoyama out of the classroom along with him. One by one the other students leave silently, not daring to look at Nanami.

This is the first time the class has refused to listen to their representative.

**_\-----_ **

_Another day another school assignment…_

Naegi sighs miserably at the thought while his class’s instructor goes over the directions. It turns out this assignment is writing based, but not really focused on the writing itself, more on the way the students present their talent in their writing. Not in the literal sense, just how they explain it according to the prompt.

_Well that isn't as bad…luck is pretty easy to explain. But I'm still not that great at writing. I bet Fukawa-san is feeling enthusiastic about this though…_

Surprisingly, she looks as nervous as ever, her eyes darting over to Togami multiple times. Naegi doesn’t have to wonder why for long.

The instructor walks around the classroom and hands each student a paper with the writing prompt. Naegi waits for his own to be given, after some wait he eventually is handed his own.

The first thing that stands out is the due date...today. 

Oh. It's an in class essay. The horror!

Inwardly wincing at the sight, Naegi forces himself to look for the prompt, maybe it won't be so bad.

_Okay let's see, ‘What do you connect most to your talent? Why do you connect these two together? Why is it important?’...oh that's not too bad!_

_That also explains why Fukawa-san keeps looking at Togami-kun. Hm… writing about a person huh?_

Naegi feels himself smile, he may not be very skilled at writing, but he’s good at talking about his emotions. His talent ...is not that great, but he can’t help feeling more fond of it lately. It has led to a pretty big change in his life after all.

_I know for sure what I want to say!_

Naegi lifts his pencil and begins to write.

**\-----**

Ever since the two lucky students became friends the shady isolated corner in which they met became where they’d spend time together at lunch. The two would sit together and talk about their day and eat, simple as that. Sometimes the topic would end up elsewhere. Occasionally Naegi would talk about his family. His sister seems to be someone he really cares about. 

Through these talks Komaeda is given an inside look on Naegi’s life, and came to realize that it’s pretty ordinary, which makes sense when considering Naegi’s overall person, but not expected due to their shared talent. His overall life is peaceful and happy, unlike his own.

Interesting…

Another thing he’s noticed is that Naegi tends to talk more than Komaeda and that’s fine with him. He likes listening to the younger chat anyway, his bright demeanor is cute. Listening to him speak the entire lunch period wouldn’t be so bad either.

Yet today Komaeda finds himself missing that cheery voice.

Komaeda has been sitting against the lonely tree for about half the lunch period already, no sign of Naegi anywhere. 

_That’s strange… maybe he’s finally gotten tired of me._

Any other time last year that concept wouldn’t have meant anything to Komaeda. He didn’t see himself as someone valuable anyway, being disposed of was fine.

However, spending so much time with Naegi this year has made him see how lonely he used to feel and forget what it felt like to constantly be afraid of his luck.

To consider the possibility that the one person who made life enjoyable again wants nothing to do with him anymore…

It would make sense though, Naegi is probably upset at him for taking up all his time, they were hanging together every day now. No person would want to be stuck with Komaeda all the time.

_Naegi-kun must hate me._

_He doesn’t want to be around trash anymore._

_I truly am scum._

_This is so_

_...despairful._

_...despair?_

_I don’t like feeling despair._

He squeezes his eyes shut and forces himself to stay calm. He hates despair. He can't stand it. Not right now.

He knows despair isn’t bad. It’s just to prepare for the Hope that comes after. This is fine. It’s all going to be okay.

Nothing is permanent. It’s all just an endless cycle. He knows this. It’s been this way his entire life. This is no surprise.

He just hoped, that maybe, just maybe, for once in his miserable tedious life, this would’ve been different.

Suddenly sitting alone in this corner of the courtyard doesn’t feel so nice anymore.

Mind feeling clouded over, he finds himself starting to tremble and grip the chopsticks in his hands (which he forgot he was holding) tighter than he should, knuckles turning paper white.

There’s no Hope to be gained from this. How can he gain Hope from the despair of losing Hope as strong as the one he feels with Naegi? Nothing else has made him feel this way, how can he move on?!

The answer is simple: he can’t. There’s no hope coming from this despair.

The cycle has broken.

The world feels like it’s spinning off its axis, he’s feeling shakier and shakier by the second. Komaeda’s thoughts have begun to feel suffocating. His breathing has become sporadic.

He can feel himself slipping away, finding it extremely difficult to not let himself get completely out of control. It would be even more despairful to draw attention to himself, he doesn’t want to disrupt everyone else’s lunch. They don't deserve that.

A bead of sweat drips from his forehead as he continues to force himself to stay calm. He manages to after a while, everything feels numb now.

Peace(?).

_…_

_….._

_……...._

“Komaeda-kun?”

He feels a hand on his shoulder, his eyes pop open in a rush and finds a concerned Naegi in front of him.

“AH!” Started, he jolts back further onto the tree and hits his head as a result.

“Komaeda-kun! I’m so sorry!” The smaller rushes over to him in concern. “I didn’t mean to startle you! I just thought you were asleep!”

“That’s okay, a lowly insignificant human like me deserves to get hurt after all.”

“Huh? I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t say those things anymore!”

“But it’s true… I am so worthless, more worthless than any-”

“No that’s wrong! I even have proof this time!”

“Proof…?”

Naegi grins, looking proud of himself. He finally sits down next to Komaeda and faces him with excitement.

“I had a writing assignment today.”

_...that’s what he’s so excited to tell me about? He’s not even talented at writing. No mention of his absence earlier either._

Komaeda stares blankly at him, not getting why that’s so important to Naegi.

“Oh don’t look at me like that! Guess what I wrote about.”

“I don’t know Naegi, why does this matter right now?” Komaeda rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, not really caring about anything anymore. “It’s not like you’re talented at writing anyway.”

Naegi catches the lack of honorific this time, face appalled.

“H-Hey! I know that, but you don’t have to be so rude…” He sighs deeply and starts picking at the grass next to him. Silent for a moment before speaking up again. “Well since you won't guess I'll tell you...Iwroteaboutyou.”

Despite the fact that he had mumbled, Komaeda heard him clearly.

His heart leaped.

“H-Huh? Me?”

_He thought about me…?_

“Yeah, the prompt was about my talent. I know you don’t like it, but it’s the reason I even got enrolled here and why we can be friends!” Naegi’s spirit starts to return, getting all fired up. “I talked about how important you are to me and how grateful I am that my talent let me meet my best friend!”

“B-Best friend?!”

Komaeda can feel his face reddening, his heart beating faster. No one had ever called him their best friend before. Not that he had wanted them to, but…!!

“Yes! There’s so many things I wanted to say about our friendship that I had to stay behind and finish, that’s why I wasn’t here earlier!” Naegi pauses for a second, mulling over that last bit. “Oh yeah, sorry about that. I hope you weren’t worried about me.”

_So that’s why..!_

Komaeda starts to slowly process everything Naegi told him. 

He doesn’t hate him.

He isn’t tired of him.

He’s still his friend.

No… his best friend.

He’s never felt so relieved before. Naegi Tears stream down his face as a small soft smile takes over his face. He never knew he wanted this before.

Naegi gasps at the sight.

“K-Komaeda-kun! You’re crying?! Did I say something wrong?” 

“No, no...I’m just...so happy.” He laughs softly as he wipes away his tears and looks at Naegi. “You’re my best friend too Naegi-kun. I don't know what I'd do without your beautiful Hope.”

Relieved by his response, Naegi smiles back at Komaeda and his heart leaps once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nagito's getting awfully attached to Makoto...


	5. Intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conflict, conflict everywhere! Things have gotten intense.

Naegi’s classmates can't remember the last time they'd hung out with him.

It has been a long, long time since anyone had last been able to talk with Naegi outside of class. There’s always _someone_ getting in the way.

All week his friends have desperately tried to get Naegi to spend time with them only to be shot down time and time again.

The excuses all sound the same.

Like the time Fujisaki, Kuwata, and Owada invited Naegi to go work out with them. He seemed extremely excited at the invitation, only for his facial expression to shift within seconds into one of nervousness.

“Ah, sorry I can't. I already promised Komaeda-kun we'd go to the arcade. He really wants to go! I can't let him down.”

The other three looked astonished at this refusal, Naegi had always been up for a session of strength building. Even if he's not the most toned guy around.

There was also a time where he turned down Maizono, the one he used to be most fond of.

“Naegi-kunnn!!” She had cried out to him from across the courtyard when she spotted him exiting the school’s doors. “Come join me! I saved you a spot so you can sit with us!”

She patted the spot on the bench next to her, and smiled. Next to her were Saionji and Mioda, also waving to him. For a moment it seemed like he was actually going to join them, approaching them joyfully.

And then he spoke.

“Sorry, I'd love to, but I’m going to go eat with Komaeda-kun! Maybe some other time?”

He quickly left after that, Maizono’s face going pale at the declined invite. She'd never been turned down by Naegi before. Saionji and Mioda looked at each other silently.

No one could get Naegi by himself anymore. The upperclassman is always stuck to him like a leech. No two people should be together for every second of the day. It just isn't healthy.

It's time they take action before things get out of hand and it's too late.

The sound of several shoes and boots running up stairs echoes behind Kirigiri Kirigiri.

_Right on time._

She turns to face the sound's sources, now face to face with all of her classmates.

“So, Kirigiri-san… why'd you ask us to meet you on the rooftop today?” A timid voice squeaked out, immediately regretting the fact that he asked first.

“Yes, I'd like to know too. I did give up my own personal free time to go here after all.” Backs up another, sounding more stern than the last.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on Naegi-kun lately and his... _friend_.” She emphasizes the last word more strongly than the rest, trying to see if that gets a reaction out of her classmates.

As she expected every single one of her classmates become tense and start to look around nervously, but none of them dare say a word. The atmosphere feels way more heavy than before, despite being out in the open.

“I see you know who I speak of.” Kirigiri crosses her arms and narrows her eyes before continuing. “The behavior of that upperclassman is suspicious. I'm going to need your cooperation before I can come to a proper conclusion.” 

“U-Um okay... so what do you want us to do?” The aloof swimmer asks, clearly confused by her request. “Am I going to need to get some more donuts for this?”

“No, it's simple really. I just need you all to work together to get Naegi-kun to spend time with you.”

Enoshima rolls her eyes and glares at Kirigiri.

“That's what we've been trying to do you dumb bitch! That ugly creep keeps whisking him away haven't you noticed?!!” She sneers out with hatred dripping with every word, her stance looking more assertive and flashy. “Things are getting so boring without him around, it's so despairful...”

She quickly shifts into a more somber pose, holding onto one of her ponytails and starts to weep softly. Ikusaba makes her way to comfort her only to get her outstretched arms slapped away by Enoshima, calling her an ugly and useless as usual.

“While I do not agree with her wording...I must admit, I do miss having a competent servant around.” Ludenberg sighs, Yamada slouching at her remark in defeat.

“I know, that is precisely why I called you all here. Before I can truly uncover the intentions of Komaeda I need to test some things out. All I ask is for you all to pull him aside as many times as possible, if he rejects you stress that it's urgent.” Her eyes turn fiercer, making sure they realize how serious this is. “Make up any excuse you can. If we don' I fear we'll be him subjecting to future danger, from what I’ve learned… Komaeda doesn't have a good reputation.”.

"F-Fine I get it. I'll help you with your weird scheme against that skinny white-haired boy if Master approves of it." Fukawa hesitantly speaks up and looks over at Togami with expectation, fumbling her hands together shakily.

"That boy is just another one of the 99% in this world, but it would be a waste to let a menace take control of Naegi, even if he is such a generic commoner."

"Ahhh!! That means Master is willing to help!!" Fukawa dramatically exclaims her shock as always, being louder and more _expressive_ than necessary. "Master is so kind and caring even towards the little people!"

And there's the typical drooling heated face she always has around him, Togami reacting to it with the same repulsion as ever.

"Oh man, even Togami-chi thinks we should. I never predicted this happening!"

"Then there's no doubt about it. We must do this for Naegi-kun's safety." Ikusaba declares with an intensity no one else has in the room. One may say it's due to her talent, but Kirigiri knows there's more to it than that. A female's feelings can truly be potent.

The fire in her eyes has now spread to the other classmates; whether all may or may not say it out loud it's true: they've all gotten attached to Naegi during their time here. How could they not? A boy as kind-hearted as him tugs at your heart easily, which is why they all want to protect him.

Kirigiri allows herself to smile a bit.

“Then its settled. Thank you for cooperating, this is all I need you to do. I’ll handle the rest. We begin tomorrow, don't forget.”

Those were her last words before exiting down the stairs.

_I’ll assure your safety, I promise._

**\-----**

Naegi has never been more frustrated.

These past few days have been annoying to say the least. No matter how hard he tries he cannot seem to spend much time with Komaeda anymore. 

It’s really peculiar too, Naegi can’t recall Komaeda’s classmates caring this much about him before (not that it's a bad thing!). He also always seems puzzled when being pulled away, almost unlike he’s never aware that they needed him.

However, Komaeda is not the only one experiencing this.

If it isn’t Komaeda that’s getting dragged away it’s Naegi. He understands this more though, he hasn’t been around his classmates as much as he once was and they need him for some projects too. This doesn’t annoy him as much.

Still, the combination of both being so wanted by their classmates has resulted in a long period of separation between them he had never seen coming.

Today Naegi sits under the cherry blossomed tree at their typical lunch spot alone, hoping that maybe today they’ll finally be reunited.

_Geez, it’s been so long since we hung out that I don’t think I can even remember Komaeda-kuns' voice anymore…_

_Or his laugh…_

_Or… almost anything! This is so irritating!_

Not knowing what to do he does the only thing he can: angrily munch on his food.

He stays like that, secluded from everyone awaiting Komaeda’s presence, but it never happens and the bell rings to go back to class.

Sighing, he tosses all his trash away. No matter how many times he spends his lunch without Komaeda he can’t help feeling disappointed each time. He really misses his friend. This thought lingers in his head as Naegi trudges through the school’s halls with a downhearted look on his face.

_I wish that just once we could talk again and-_

A sudden tug on his arm cuts his thoughts off as he’s yanked into a different direction, yelping in surprise.

“OW! H-Hey! Stop it!!”

Naegi and his mysterious kidnapper reach a corner behind a vending machine and they finally come to a stop. He absentmindedly rubs his arm after being let go.

"Did I hurt you? I apologize."

_Oh just it’s Komaeda._

"No! No it's okay! I-"

_Wait._

Naegi's eyes widen as he finally registers the importance of who's standing before him.

“KOMAEDA-KUN!!!”

The older grunts in mild pain as the younger slams into him, arms tightly pulling Komaeda into a hug.

“It’s been so long! I honestly was starting to forget what you looked like and I just...” Naegi’s eyes are beginning to water from how much he missed the other.

“Hey...I feel the same way, but we don’t have much time before we’re late.” Komaeda gently pushes Naegi off of him and looks at him intensely. “Meet me at the fountain at 10pm. Don’t tell anyone.”

“O-Oh you mean… sneak out of our dorms at night? B-But that’s not allowed!”

“I know. Just do it, please.” Komaeda’s eyes then dart towards the clock further down the hallway and sighs, their time has run out. “See you later Naegi-kun.”

He sprints away to his next class and Naegi watches him leave before doing the same, wishing their conversation could have lasted a bit longer, but Hope’s Peak comes first. Arriving late never looks good.

Unfortunately, he enters the class seconds after the bell rings again. His luck strikes again.

**\-----**

Komaeda has spent most of his time after school cooped up in his dorm, passing the time reading from a stack of books he got from the library. He didn’t want any of his classmates getting in the way of his plans so he told them he wasn’t feeling well and was going to go study a while then rest. 

He doesn't enjoy lying, but they gave him no choice. Otherwise they would’ve forced him to go hang out with them by force like they’ve been recently doing.

He has to admit, while he knows he doesn’t deserve it… it feels nice to be wanted by such superior beings. 

Fake wanted to be exact.

They think he can’t notice, but he does. All these invites are obviously a ploy to separate him from Naegi – otherwise they wouldn't have been seeking him out so much. Komaeda hasn’t been able to figure out why yet, but he understands they don't trust him enough for them to be alone.

This is what infuriates him. They clearly can't see the bond they have, it's ridiculous.

It also seems like Naegi’s class is doing the same as well. They must be feeling the same way about their friendship. Can’t they just leave the two alone? 

However, if that’s how it must be then fine. He’ll find his own way to hang with his friend. His best friend. Just him and Naegi’s oh so beautiful Hope and the tranquility that comes with it.

Komaeda feels his mouth twitch up into a small grin at the thought. 

_It’s been so long since I’ve been able to fully enjoy the beauty of Naegi-kun’s Hope… oh how I miss the feeling._

A small sliver of drool escapes from the corner of his mouth as his stomach flutters as his face flushes. He quickly swipes it away with the corner of his sleeve and shakes his head.

_No time to bask in it. It’s almost time for our reunion._

He checks the digital clock he has on his nightstand, there’s five minutes left until their meet. The book in his hand is slammed shut and he giddily makes his way out of his dorm, heartbeat racing.

He doesn’t want to creep the other out, but being apart for so long is making it hard to keep his emotions in check. As he maneuvers his way through the school he finally reaches the path to the fountain, illuminated by the street lights around it. His pace slowens as he spots someone.

Sitting on the edges of the fountain is Naegi, looking extremely nervous until he gains sight of Komaeda and smiles at him, now feeling relaxed.

“Hi Komaeda-kun! I’ve been waiting for you!”

Komaeda makes his way to Naegi, his hands twitching a tad. It’s been so long since they properly got a moment to be alone together that seeing him under the glow of the night has his heart bursting to the point he can barely contain himself.

_He really does want to spend time with someone as lowly as me! I can already feel his beautiful Hope from here…!_

He seats himself beside the younger, throat feeling dry.

“H-Hey, sorry that I made you wait for such worthless scum- ah, wait, you don’t like my self-loathing…”

“Nope, you know I don’t believe any of that about you! You mean so much more to me than that!” Naegi huffs out and his eyes seem to sparkle as he speaks. “Why else would I be breaking the rules like this? I wouldn’t do that for just anyone you know!”

“I really did miss you a lot...” Naegi says the last bit more quietly, feeling a bit unsure of himself. “I know it’s mushy of me to say that, but it’s the truth! You make me very happy Komaeda-kun. I-I love spending time with you.”

The earnesty in his words is starting to drive Komaeda nuts, he can hardly hear his thoughts over his pounding heart. It’s unfair how often Naegi causes Komaeda’s face to burn up at this point.

"So sentimental and honest with your feelings! You make me blush. And I'm glad you think so Naegi-kun, I feel the same way. Though, I have to admit ... it's a bit more than just that."

Impulsively, he reaches out to clasp Naegi’s hands, but pauses centimeters away from them, unsure whether to continue or not.

Naegi silently watches him with curiosity, not saying a word and looks at the other’s hands suspended in the air. Naegi's eyes meet his and he nods, giving him permission to keep going.

Gulping, he shakily clutches onto the smaller hands in front of him, Naegi doesn’t retract them. Feeling more confident, he intertwines his fingers with Naegi’s. 

This action catches him off guard and his face tints a light pink at the sight. He averts his eyes for a moment before uncertainly locking eye contact with Komaeda, awaiting some kind of answer.

Komaeda opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. He doesn't know what to say.

They're finally reunited and he feels like pouring out his heart to him, but can’t as his mind is running blanks. All he can think about is the way Naegi's beautiful round eyes reflect the moon light’s shining rays, the warmth and softness of his hands, which fit so perfectly in his own and and and— Drops of sweat begin to roll down from his face. Komaeda is unbearably nervous. _All alone with Naegi-kun… Why am I so nervous?!_

_I don't know how to say it, it may sound too weird…_

_All I want to do is show him how much it means to me…_

_What if he rejects me and really does never speak to me again this time?!_ His eyes inch down to the lower half of the younger’s face, cold sweat sliding down faster and breath getting heavier. _Your Hope is so beautiful, every part of me loves it. Please let me have it, let me be yours. The_ hold Komaeda has on Naegi hands is released and he tightly clutches onto his own forearms, shaking as several beads drip down his face; his breath becoming strained wheezes. 

He couldn't say it. Of course he couldn't.

Before Naegi can even react to Komaeda’s composure break he’s interrupted by someone else.

"AHA! SEE! I told ya that guy was up to no good! Grab the creep, quickly before he does something even creepier!!" 

Komaeda’s not sure about what’s going on, he can’t properly focus on the situation right now, but he can feel strong arms grab a hold of him and pull him away.

"Got him! Hey, stay still will ya?!" 

This voice sounds so familiar, but he can’t identify who it is. "Don't worry kid you're safe now!" 

It sounds like this voice is speaking to Naegi. "Good work. I knew Komaeda’s behavior was suspicious, hold him back while I make sure Naegi-kun is alright." 

He doesn’t think he’s spoken to this voice before. 

There’s so many voices… This was supposed to be their night! Komaeda and Naegi’s… wait where is he?!

His eyes finally start to hone in on the situation and realizes his classmates and the purple haired student ambushed their secret meet. Starting to panic, Komaeda begins to thrash about in Owari arms frantically, who is keeping him captive. 

“Crap this guy is crazy! Don’t let him go!” Souda cries out, cowering away from him.

Komaeda’s pupils shrink in fear as he notices all his classmates stare at him like a feral contaminated animal. This only makes him struggle even harder for his freedom.

“Eee! So s-scary…” Tsumiki cries out before nervously turning to face Naegi who’s at a loss for words. “U-Um, did he h-hurt you? You can tell me, it’s o-okay. I can f-fix you up.”

“Yes! Don’t be afraid to tell us, as Princess I will make sure to banish him from your sight if seen fit!” Sonia proudly states and does her signature princess pose.

“Dark Queen I will assist you by summoning an ancient shadow barrier between that devilish fiend and the young Noble of Luck!”

Komaeda can't take this anymore. He starts swinging his arms around in desperation, he needs to be let free. He needs to go back to Naegi. He didn't get to finish.

“Don't bother trying to get away, even if you broke free from her grasp we'd just have Pekoyama take you down.” Scoffs the Imposter who is currently dressed as Togami.

“Indeed. There is no use in further resistance.” The purple haired girl states with a neutral expression. “Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be.”

His hands shoot up to his head and grips onto his locks of hair tightly and fights back the urge to scream. 

“Nonono please. Please you can't.” Komaeda’s goes a shade paler as his knuckles grip tighter. His face widening into a thin smile, face turning whiter. “He's all I have left. If you take him I won't have anything.”

“Oh ew he's doing the gross face again!! Big sis Koizumi help!!” Saionji runs to the redhead’s side and hides behind her who readily raises her fists.

“His Hope is brighter than anything I've ever seen before, I need it. Nothing comes close to it. Don't take it away from me! You all already have enough. I've never had anything like this before!! I know trash like me doesn't deserve it, but it's what I live for now. Please don't take the Ultimate Hope away from me!!”

“What kind of nonsense is this? There's no such thing as an Ultimate Hope, he's gone hysterical.” Kirigiri exclaims in disgust and steps back, startled by Komaeda's words.

"Ugh, not this stupid hope bullshit again!" Kuzuryu cries in frustration as he watches from afar with Pekoyama, she isn't enjoying this either.

Naegi musters up the strength to push all the ultimates around him out of his away and attempts to reach out for Komaeda only for Pekoyama react instantly and step between them.

“I'm sorry Naegi-kun but I cannot allow you to step closer to him in his current state.”

"But Komaeda-kun he's not-"

"It is for the best."

Naegi backs down and lowers his arm, intimidated by her fierce demeanor and swallows his words

That's the final straw.

Komaeda's eyes begin to swirl as he erupts with raspy painful laughter.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-”

“Shut up!” Owari’s voice is barely heard over Komaeda's wheezing as she slams the side of his head with a fist, knocking him out cold.

**\-----**

Nanami has always had faith and trust in all of her friends, she knows they're good at heart. Every single one of them. 

Sometimes they make wrong decisions. That's part of life. Which is why she doesn't tend to get angry with others, she understands what their intentions were.

But she can't help being enraged at the scene before her.

She knew it was a good idea to get Yukizume to come with her. Her gut told her that spotting all her classmates sneaking out at once meant something was wrong and it was true, Nanami’s glad she didn't stay quiet.

“Everyone stop it!” She shouts out as loud as Nanami can muster.

“What a bunch of rotten oranges! No, that's way too nice for you, more like moldy stinky infested cheese! Let go of him!” Yukizome glares at her class with fury seething through her eyes. Silently Owari lets go of the unconscious Komaeda in her arms and he smacks onto the ground, cutting his face. “I can't believe you all ignored your Class Representative like this! For you all to attack your harmless classmate like this... I'm extremely disappointed with you all! You're all coming with your teacher _now_.”

Kirigiri’s eyes widen at the woman's fierce scolding, watching as she begins to storms away with all her students moping behind. Only to screech to a halt and glare at her.

“You’re part of the moldy stinky cheese youth too, don't think just because you're not part of my class that you're not getting yelled at too? Get over here!”

Shaken by her attitude Kirigiri complies and walks over in defeat.

As the others begin to leave their sight Naegi musters the courage to rush over to Komaeda with tears as he shakes at the sight of his unconscious friend.

Nanami makes his way over to him with a heartbroken expression.

“I'm so sorry I couldn't stop them sooner, I knew Komaeda-kun wasn't going to hurt you, but they don't trust him. No one really does aside from us three…”

Sniffling he finds the energy to speak.

“I k-know, I noticed that t-too. I just didn't think t-they would go this far!” Naegi chokes on a sob and full on cries in front of her, no longer able to withhold his sorrow. Nanami embraces him as he cries, doing her best to comfort the younger.

“I didn't either… it'll be okay now I promise. Yukizome-san is an amazing teacher, I'm sure she'll help them see what they did wrong and treat Komaeda-kun nicer.”

“I h-hope so.” Sniffling again he glances over at Nanami then at Komaeda's body on the floor. “C-Can you help me t-take him to my room? I want to cl-clean him up.”

“Of course.”

Between the two they are able to hoist Komaeda up and take him over to Naegi’s dorm which he opens a key retrieved from his pocket.

Once inside, they carefully place him onto Naegi's bed and he makes his way to grab a first aid kit that's stashed away in his drawers.

_I could ask Tsumiki to help but… I don't think it wouldn't be appropriate._

_I should leave this to him._

“Hey… I'm sure you'll want to keep Komaeda-kun company until he wakes up so I'm going to go now and tell Yukizome to request you two take the day off tomorrow. Take good care of him.”

Naegi looks at Nanami with a sad smile of gratitude as he takes out the supplies he needs to treat the bleeding cuts on Komaeda's face.

“Thank you Nanami-san. I will.”

They share one last somber look before she steps out and creaks the door shut.

_This is all my fault… I didn't convince them enough and look what happened. What kind of Class Representative am I?_

Nanami’s eyes sting with tears as she makes her way to their class’s own building.

More than ever she knows she needs everyone to get along, but she just isn't sure how to do it anymore. 

How will they ever be willing to accept Komaeda and all become friends?

Nanami wishes this was as easy to solve as her video games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I promise things will get better after this cuz they all deserve it
> 
> Also after such a loaded chapter I think maybe clarifying two things would be good:
> 
> _Nagito wanted to go to the arcade with Makoto since he's never been able to properly play a video game before. He was excited to find out how it'd feel like to win or lose by his own merit. I didn't know how to specify this in the chapter without breaking the flow so here you go_
> 
> _Despite not having officially been given the title by anyone, Nagito senses Makoto's capability of being an Ultimate Hope. He's been viewing him as such for a while now, but never said it aloud until this moment of extreme distress._
> 
> Edit: crap I didn't realize I didn't give the chapter a title until now whoops


	6. To Aid One's Turmoil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of the chapters I really wanted to write and now it's done!

Naegi has never forced himself to stay up this late before, but nothing had been this important either. Komaeda was handled roughly by the strong female in his class and caused bruises to start forming all over his torso. There are also the cuts and scrapes on his face from his fall as well, Naegi did his best to clean them.

The digital clock on his nightstand reads 2:55am and gives off a red light so blinding that he can feel his blinks getting less frequent, each lasting much longer. He could doze off any second now.

_I can't sleep just yet...not until... I know that… Komaeda-kun is okay…_

His hands are slowly lifted up to his eyes and he forcefully wipes at them, contemplating whether another trip to the sink is necessary.

Deciding that's the best course of action to take right now, he props himself up from the chair he had placed next to his bed and makes his way to the small bathroom in the far corner of the room. Wobbling with sleep deprivation in each step, he arrives in front of the sink; using cold water, he tries slapping himself awake.

Naegi had done this a couple hours ago and it had been extremely effective that time, recoiling at the impact. However, this time he simply tensed up a bit before shaking it off. 

Naegi is just _that_ tired.

Finished with his task, he sluggishly returns to his post. Eyes glued onto Komaeda. Half way back to his seat, he notices the blankets he had placed on the other have begun to shift.

_Huh that's weird… since when do blankets move…?_

Then it hits him.

_K-Komaeda! He's-!!_

Suddenly it's as if all the exhaustion in his body has vanished. He rushes over to the bedside, eyes wide with anticipation as he watches the older come to.

"Ughhh, my head… what's going on? Is it acting up again?" Komaeda wonders out loud as he grasps his temples and shifts into a sitting position. He hasn't realized he isn't in his own dorm yet.

"K-Komaeda-kun!! You're awake!" Naegi's grinning so widely from relief he can feel his eye bags crinkling up. "I was so worried! Owari-san is so strong, she really knocked you out… I've been staying up ever since and watched over you until now!"

A soft gasp of surprise is emitted from the older as he whips his head to face Naegi, finally realizing where he is.

"N-Naegi-kun! You've been taking care of me? I'm speechless, thank you for looking after such ins-"

"Don't finish that sentence." Stern eyes lock onto Komaeda, silencing him. The other nods with a neutral expression as he complies. Content with that restraint, Naegi returns to a more cheerful manner again. "And it's nothing, really! Don't worry about it." 

"Are you sure? You look really exhausted, it's late too." He points momentarily at the clock, which now reads 3:27am. "You're not going to get enough rest for class and I'm the reason why…"

Naegi immediately waves his hands dismissively of his observation.

"No, that's okay! We both have the day off tomorrow for recovery. Nanami-san was able to request it for us, she's so kind!"

"Is that so…"

"Yeah! She was really helpful too, I wouldn't have been able to carry you over without her. And…"

“Hm?”

"Um...and she's the only one in your class that didn't attack you…"

Naegi's posture droops, recalling the prior events having an effect on him. Komaeda on the other hand doesn't really react to that being pointed out.

"Ah right, that is true."

A small silence fills the room. Neither speak for a while. The only sound left is their breathing and the fumbling of Naegi's hands. Finally, after some mental encouragement, he musters the courage to speak up.

"Um...there's also something I wanted to talk about." 

"Yes, Naegi-kun?"

A wave of uneasiness engulfs Naegi as he ponders how to go about this. Komaeda is fairly simple to talk to, when it’s outside of his beliefs on hope and despair. Diving into this sort of conversation will be extremely difficult to keep up with. But even so…

Naegi decides to lead with something not as loaded.

“It’s such a bummer our secret reunion got ambushed...I was looking forward to it.”

Komaeda sighs symphatetcially. “Ah, yes it really is a shame. We really were having quite the moment weren’t we? Well, I was beginning to ruin it anyway...” 

The younger had to admit, he had been waiting to see what would’ve resulted from Komaeda’s advances. Curious, for a lack of a better word. Naegi wonders what would’ve happened if no one had ambushed, maybe there would have been something new-

_B-But I can’t let myself get distracted by that right now!_

His finger scratches against his cheek, nervous. "Y-Yeah, kind of. You were panicking pretty hard before the others popped out of nowhere, but I can't stop thinking about what you called me before you were uhm…"

He trails off, not wanting to address the violence that had been committed that night. However, Komaeda's face lights up, Naegi isn't so sure due to the dark, but his cheeks seem flushed.

"The Ultimate Hope! You noticed!"

"U-Ultimate Hope? Why are you giving me that title? I’m just lucky like you...and a little more gung-ho than most, but what does that have to do with hope?"

The other shivers at Naegi saying the last word, face full of delight. Well that is concerning to say the least...

"Hope means everything to me and you have the strongest Hope I've ever seen. There's never a day full of despair when I'm alone with you, something my life never was like before! Everyday before that was so despairful... It was horrible! Now it's nothing like that at all! Even my luck is silent. For your Hope to be able to improve it so much… it must be Ultimate."

“Um...okay that makes sense I guess.” It doesn’t make sense to him at all, but when Komaeda says it with so much certainty Naegi has to go along with it. “Wait, you felt despairful? B-But you always talk about hope!"

"I think Hope is beautiful, but that doesn't mean I have it Naegi-kun. You, on the other hand, have so much Hope and without even trying you've changed my life with that Hope. It's not something I deserve, but thank you."

_He...doesn’t have hope? That can’t be true! But I can’t say that yet… I need to know more._

"What? I don't think I understand…"

"Then I'll gladly explain until you do. Hope is what keeps a person going. Without Hope there is an imbalance in life, there's no point to continue if all one has is despair. This is why I search for it, to give my life purpose. A reason to keep getting out of bed each day. If there was no Hope left in this world and all I had left was despair, I'd use that despair to search for Hope amongst all the chaos until I breathe my last breath." 

Naegi doesn't quite grasp hope to the degree Komaeda does...but he finds himself understanding most of what he says. The concept of hope seems to just click with him. Komaeda's hope and despair ramblings are starting to become more comprehensible.

"Heh, luckily we currently aren't in that kind of world and I was able to find Hope anyway. The brightest Hope in existence. You."

"Komaeda-kun…" Naegi's words are slow and well calculated as to not make the other go into hysterics, not when he’s just begun to learn. "Now that you've found it, what do you want me to do with that hope?"

Elated at that question, Komaeda grins.

"Dedicate yourself to me. I know it's a lot to ask, but we are... _best_ friends right?" Komaeda has started to drool and his shivering is more harsh. "As my _best_ friend you'd do that for me right? You’d stay by my side? You’d improve it all!"

"Umm…!!!” Naegi really doesn’t want to answer that question just yet. “Y-You have to explain more! W-What do you mean by it?"

"My life, my existence, my worth, ...everything. You're the only one that can."

"You want me to improve everything about you?! B-But why? I still don't understand, you're great just the way you are!"

"No." Komaeda's facial expression hardens. "That's a lie! Nothing about me is good. You're only saying that because you don't know."

"What do I not know?"

"...I don't think you'd want to find out."

"Komaeda-kun you can tell me anything. I'm sure whatever it is won't change how I feel about you."

"Yes it will. Haha where do I begin? Let’s see...I killed my entire family." Komaeda's eyes begin to swirl with a gross combination of something Naegi can now identify as hope and despair. The older’s body twitches as he fights back a wave of laughter. "Every single one of them. Dead. You do understand how my luck works right? Bad luck is followed by good luck and vice versa. My entire family was going to go on vacation. They all finally had enough time to go together, but I suppose that was just too much good luck because a hijacker snuck on board.”

“Unexpected isn’t it? No worries though, a meteor swooped in and crushed the guy. Oh, and also everyone in my family...except for me of course. I survived and got rescued from the crash site. I also got to inherit all of my family’s fortune, making me one of the richest teenagers ever. Now isn’t that good luck? All the bad led up to that moment!”

Never in his life would Naegi have guessed that Komaeda was carrying that much baggage with him. There's no way to describe the amount of sorrow he feels for the other pouring his past out to him.

"N-No way, that's horrible I'm so sorry! B-But that's not your fault! You didn't kill them, it was just bad luck-"

"Exactly. My bad luck. Ever since that day, I made sure to keep my distance. While I may know how to control my luck, it still is dangerous. I've harmed many beings, I can't risk harming Ultimates. Ultimates are the future. If I were to harm them with my luck I'd be jeopardizing it, preventing them from spreading hope...in favor of someone who has none walk along freely. That's just too despairful. I was fine with isolation. I'm below them, keeping my distance would've been inevitable even without my luck. I isolated myself the entire first year and no one really minded, that is… until my second year."

"You mean…!"

"Yes Naegi-kun. You made it all okay. Not only did my constant fear in life come to a stop, but so did my seemingly endless cycle of luck. Your Hope made it all worth it. Everyone I've ever hurt or killed, all the suffering, it all accumulated up to this: the discovery of the Ultimate Hope! With you everything is beautifully perfect!"

The thin smile plastered on the older’s face is extremely unnerving and reeking of obsession, but Naegi can’t let fear clog up his words now, not when Komaeda is behaving so...deranged.

"Uh...I don't think...hope works like that Komaeda-kun. Hope...truly is pretty amazing, but no amount of tragedy is worth it."

"You don't know what you're talking about. Hope is the answer to everything, it washes away all despair, life is perfect when there's Hope!"

"It's good to spread the seeds of hope, but you need to work for a hopeful future too! It won't just appear just because you found my hope. You need to use the hope inside you and build the foundation for that future!"

"No! That's ...That's impossible!!" His composure begins to crack, breaths coming out sharply. Komaeda's clammy hands reach out for Naegi's, tightly holding onto them as if his life depended on it. Naegi has to use all the strength he can to peel them off. "I can't. I don't have any Hope in me, I need you. I need your Hope, I need you to do this for me! Please stop rejecting me!" He wails out to Naegi, his voice getting raspier.

"Komaeda-kun, I am deeply sorry about what happened to you. You aren't a murderer...just unlucky. I know how that feels. My hope can’t make your life perfect, what happened is permanent. But you do have hope in you, we all do! If you use that hope to accept the past and move forward, then life will start to feel brighter. Hope alone is not the answer, there’s more to life than just hope and despair!"

"More to life? Hah….hahaa…...haaha…..no...I can't...lies, all lies… .. I'm incapable of it ..I need you..H-Hope...haha…..haaa...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Naegi desperately grasps the cackling male’s bouncing shoulders, trying to make him snap out of his fit of laughter. Eventually, after a while, his laughter starts to subside enough for him to be able to speak over it.

"W-Why are you laughing?!! I'm being serious! You can do it, I believe in you! Changing the way you look at things can be hard, but I'll be there for you!"

Komaeda wheezes. "Haaa, I don't need your support. I just need your Hope! You’re just complicating things!"

"No I'm not! I'm trying to make you understand the truth!"

"That's no truth, but you know what is? You're selfish. Even after all I've told you, you still won't be my Hope. You have a perfect normal family, you have tons of friends and your luck is no where near as harmful as mine. If I had your Hope I would be living happily too!" Clumps of white hair are now tightly within Komaeda's fists and being tugged at with such aggression his eyes threaten to swirl faster from the sheer pain of it all. "All I ask for is that kind of life and you, the Ultimate Hope, are denying me of it!"

“I am not denying you of that! You’re misunderstanding me! You know this is true!”

“Nggh! You know what? I don’t need your hope." Komaeda spits out bitterly and glares at Naegi, tears stinging his eyes. “I don’t need any hope and I certainly don’t need you Naegi. All you want is to live peacefully away from despair and watch as I continue to painfully writhe in it...I-I hate you Naegi!”

In a sudden wave of uncontrollable fury Komaeda lunges at Naegi, slamming his head against the wall. 

**\-----**

Komaeda’s anger has completely engulfed him, swallowing any sensible thoughts whole. All he can focus on is the sickly repulsive sensation plaguing his chest and mind: envy. 

To say he completely hates Naegi would be a lie of course, but at the moment he can’t properly reason, only point fingers at the only person he can right now.

Truth be told, he’s felt this way towards the younger for a while now.

It’s hard not to, being in his company for so long blatantly demonstrated everything he had been lacking in his own life. Being with Naegi teased this ideal life in front of him, dangling it in front of him with his Hope.

It began with sharing the same talent, which he hadn’t even known could be possible. Komaeda never considered Hope’s Peak trying to scout another lucky student, hell he didn’t think anyone else had any luck. His own is so potent that he figured it all went to himself, with how frequent his cycle spirals. But, no, there is Naegi Makoto, living proof he is not the only one. 

The revelation was disgusting. He wanted to beat the younger down with his words until he understood that being a luckster meant he’s worth nothing. To make him hate himself and life as much as he does...

Keyword being _wanted_.

Whenever Komaeda goes off into his hope and despair tangents everyone backs away eventually, especially when the self deprecation chimes in. Naegi didn’t.

He refuted his words with his own. It was strange to say the least, but he meant every word of it. Naegi believes in hope and in Komaeda, which was evident by the way he kept reaching out to him. Even when he purposely kept hiding away from him at first.

Then came the freedom from his talent. Komaeda has craved this for years. Sure it may be useful, but none of that can ever be worth the death of his family, the suffering his dog went through, and the several life threatening situations he’s faced and is currently facing. To finally have the shackles of luck be removed… It's absolutely thrilling. And it’s all thanks to Naegi.

Yet, even with this freedom… His life isn’t much different. He’s left looking for more. Desiring more. That desire is only fueled more and more as he observes the other next to him.

The two are so similar, but also not at all.

Naegi has a caring family, tons of friends, his luck isn’t constantly in his way, there’s hope inside of him, he doesn’t live with constant fear and most importantly: he’s loved by all. Komaeda has none of that. He can only claw at it whenever Naegi is in his proximity.

Those scraps aren’t enough, but he can settle. It’s better than nothing.

Settling wasn’t too hard. This is the Ultimate Hope after all. Naegi is also genuinely a lovable person, despite being so average. Komaeda being called his best friend made it easier too, it made him feel like he actually mattered...a little bit. He knows it isn’t true, but it felt easier to pretend with how much the younger cares for him.

Life felt tolerable.

However, after being separated by both of their meddling classes for so long, the high he had from being with Naegi had long worn off. Komaeda understands now. He has to secure the Ultimate Hope in place, keep him by his side forever.

Being with the Ultimate Hope is the closest thing he’s had to true happiness, if he hadn’t acted then there was no telling how much more cleaved apart they’d be.

But it all backfired, he hadn't been careful enough and now everything’s horrible again, there’s no reversing it. Naegi’s hope isn’t enough anymore.

Komaeda claims it's lies, but deep down he understands the younger is telling him the truth and means well.

He just can’t handle the truth and his envy is taking over again. Everything’s crashing down.

"I...I h-hate...you...I ...r-really do.” He cries out as he slumps onto the ground and chokes on a sob, tears stream onto the floor. 

Komaeda can’t remember the last time he bawled in front of someone.

“N-No you don’t...”

_Huh?_

Weakly, he looks up just enough to view Naegi kneeling onto the ground beside him. He’s clutching onto the side of his head and also crying.

He hurt Naegi.

But he deserved it. He pushed Komaeda to his breaking point.

…

Guilt.

“I d-don’t... _really_ know what you're thinking, but…” 

“I can just feel you’re hurting inside, that this isn’t really you. And I bet there’s so much you haven’t told me yet and that’s okay.” Sniffling, he wipes some tears away that were starting clouding his vision. “I know you didn’t mean it. All that time we spent together… I’ve been friends with you long enough to know.”

“And... “ He slowly removes his hands, revealing a bruise starting to form from the impact. “I forgive you for this too... “

_Naegi-kun…!_

“W-Why? I attacked you! You should hate me, tell me you never want to see me again! Kick me and push me out of your room, leave me outside, spit on me, force me whatever you want! A-Anything! I deserve it, I deserve your hate!”

“No. I don't hate you either. I forgive you.”

“Why?!!”

“B-Because…”

Komaeda silently awaits the rest of that sentence.

“Because we’re best friends and I care about you. I know you're a good person,”

Before he knows it, Komaeda’s trapped in an embrace from Naegi. He can feel all the flame of fury in him die out. The envy is still there, but...not as strong as it once was. With time he thinks it’ll die out as well.

Naegi whispers quietly to him. “I meant it you know? I do want to help you move on, you don’t deserve to feel so guilty about it at all. It wasn’t your fault and it still isn't…” 

Komaeda feels himself starting to hiccup with tears as his heart aches and he barely manages to muster out a response.

“T-Thank you Naegi-kun...I’m sorry…I’m so so sorry, I just...it’s so hard for me to deal with...I thought that...”

Naegi pulls away and smiles at him softly. 

Komaeda had missed that sweet smile.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say more, I already forgave you Komaeda-kun. I'll help you forgive yourself.”

The younger props himself back up and extends a hand out to Komaeda. Hesitantly, he accepts it, holding onto it firmly. If Naegi were to toss him aside right now and take back everything he's said, Komaeda would accept it, but he knows and trusts he won't. He isn't like that. As he’s hoisted up Komaeda finds himself seeing Naegi in a new light. 

_Naegi-kun… your hope is amazing, but you even more so. Your words have touched my heart. Thank you._

“Hey, let’s go clean ourselves up, we've been crying a lot, my face feels all salty.” Naegi suggests while stifling a laugh, and waves him over to the bathroom.

Komaeda smiles, following him and for once he feels like everything will slowly, with time, be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naegi is finally understanding Komaeda more...
> 
> and Komaeda has started his healing process.
> 
> That's one problem down, now there's only several more to go!


	7. Time to Spare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now for something more lighthearted...
> 
> I have to admit that while I may have an outline for this fic I tend to stray away from it a bit...whoops!

Naegi isn't one to hide his emotions really, but that had been exhausting. For both of them.

For Komaeda to finally pour out some of his heart out so openly to Naegi… it's exhausting, for the both of them. It's about time they finally sleep.

"Heh, I'm sorry for all the drama these past hours. I should probably go now so we can finally get some rest." Komaeda reasons, yawning moments after speaking. He moves to walk to the door.

"H-Hey wait!"

Komaeda halts right as his hand is hovering over the door knob, confused at younger’s shout. 

"What is it Naegi-kun?"

“Uh it's really late right now and your dorm is pretty far away…" Naegi shyly begins, he doesn't want to outright say it, but after all the crying he just wants to rest peacefully with Komaeda. "And your luck might, um, make you trip on the way back! Or even worse! It’s just not safe!"

Komaeda smiles and softly giggles at the excuses Naegi is clearly coming up with on the spot.

"Haha, I see. That would be quite unfortunate wouldn't it? What do you suppose I do?" He playfully asks Naegi.

"W-Well! I think you should stay here, we can make it like a sleep over! I haven't had one of those in a long time and this is a good reason to do it! And..."

"Hmmm…?* Komaeda 

Naegi finds himself getting embarrassed at what he's about to say; had anyone witnessed what just happened a few moments ago, they'd tell Naegi he's a fool for desiring it, but it’s how he feels and he doesn’t like hiding his feelings.

"I just got you back Komaeda-kun…" He barely manages to mumble out the rest. "Iwanttobewithyoulonger."

Had it been a little brighter Naegi would've been able to see the reddening of Komaeda's cheeks at that last comment.

"So straightforward...I’m touched. There’s no way I can't say no to that! I'll stay."

"R-Really?"

"Of course, now do you know where I can find any spare blankets?"

"Oh I have one in my closet, I'll go get it for you!"

Naegi quickly speeds over to his closet and pulls it open, grabbing the softest one and handing it over to the other.

*There you go! There's no way you can get cold with that."

"Thank you." Komaeda nods in gratitude, a small smile accompanying it. He watches him accept it and walk on over to his bed...only to continue walking and place it onto the ground. He moves into a kneeling position and spreads it out before attempting to lie on top of it.

"H-Hey!! What are you doing?!"

Komaeda pauses in order to answer. "It's a sleepover right? I got to prepare my own bed. Unless you think I should just sleep on the ground then I will. There's no need for someone like me to be using a blanket anyw-"

Naegi's eyes widen and he gasps, almost offended. When will the negative remarks about himself stop?

"No.* He sternly silences Komaeda, not wanting to hear him self-deprecate himself more than he has already.

"B-But where will I…* Komaeda's face lights up in realization. "Oh, perhaps you've realized your mistake. You regret forgiving me and now want me, disgusting meaningless scum, out of your room this very inst-"

"N-NO! That's enough. Just…!" His hand swiftly clasps on firmly to Komaeda's arm and drags him to his bed and pulls him on along with Naegi. “We can just share my bed, it’s big enough for the both of us. My best friend does not belong on the floor.”

“Ah... alright. Thank you.” Komaeda nods understandably with round eyes.

The two slip themselves under the covers without a word, each facing away from each other as they prepare to doze off and Naegi is left alone to his thoughts.

_A lot has happened tonight…_

_I wish I could help Komaeda-kun more, but I guess this will take time._

_But that’s okay, I’ll be patient,_

_I can’t let my best friend suffer alone any longer._

Naegi’s breath slows and he falls asleep.

**\-----**

The first to wake next morning is Komaeda, he’s used to waking up earlier to go to class before any of his classmates do as to not run into them. Even though they had the day excused–Komaeda was the only one that needed to be excused, Yukizome is relentless! 

Truth be told...he didn’t sleep too well. It has nothing to do with how late they slept (although they did sleep at 5am) there’s an entirely different reason for that.

Komaeda has always had...quite a bit of interest in the male figure to put it shortly.

To sleep alongside Naegi…

Horrible.

Absolutely horrible.

His heart wouldn’t stop racing.

Being next to the young sweet and hopeful luckster made not only his stomach, but head do summersaults as well.

All he could think about was reaching over and creeping his hand into Naegi’s… they were so close to each other!

...and still Komaeda didn’t do it. It’s just not the same, Naegi was fast asleep it wouldn’t have been right.

Plus they’re best friends, he can’t ruin the most important relationship he’s had with someone with sudden hand holding...he could have woken up!

Oh well.

Komaeda settled with gazing at Naegi’s sleeping expression as he cleaned up the dorm a bit; it wasn’t much just a light dusting, furniture polishing, and sweeping, but it’s the least he can do for Naegi’s hospitality.

As he cleaned he found himself feeling a bit grateful for his classmates intervening for now he’s been able to not view Naegi simply as hope incarnate, but as his own person. 

A person who genuinely cares for Komaeda enough to stick around even after his mistakes.

_He is so wonderful…_

_But I’m getting carried away…_

_I can’t let myself get so attached…_

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Komaeda focuses on the task before him once more, putting even more effort into it.

After a couple of hours Komaeda finishes up and decides to leave momentarily to fetch him and Naegi some breakfast; he’s no good at cooking so he’ll just pop into the cafeteria and see what he can find.

Once there he grabs the necessary food for the morning, avoiding contact with as many people as possible while speed walking back. One the way back he pauses at a vending machine nearby the hallway to Naegi’s dorm.

_I should get him something as a thank you. Which one of these was his favorite again?_

His eyes lazily scan through the multiple colorful drinks with varied logos and names with a hurry, not finding any that particularly stands out to him.

_I could just use my luck, whatever pops out will be it._

_But…_

Komaeda finds that he doesn’t want to rely on luck for this kind of gesture. He sighs and scrutinizes the vending machines contents once more.

_I’ll search through more carefully...if I remember correctly it should be-_

_Oh! Perfect. It’s the last one!_

_…_

_…Was that still using my luck?_

A tad frustrated, Komaeda continues his rush back to the dorms while balancing all the food he fetched as well as the drink. He wonders if he is managing this through his own efforts or due to the nature of his talent.

_If my talent is behind things going so smoothly...I suppose a bunch of people must be suffering right now._

_I was just starting to forget what that felt like..._

Bringing his attention back to reality, Komaeda arrives at the door leading to Naegi’s room and shifts the weight of everything in his arms aside enough for one of his hands to be free and turns the knob.

Only to have the rest of the door be swung open for him and be met with a cheery grin from his most favorite person in the world.

“Komaeda-kun! I was wondering where you went!” Naegi’s attention drifts from the older to what he carries in his arms and jumps into action, freeing Komaeda from balancing so many items at once.

“I don’t have a table, but eating on the bed can’t be too bad right now! I don’t think that’s a rule, right?” Naegi looks uncertain for a second as he places the food onto his bed, rethinking his question over. “I m-mean I don’t think I saw the handbook say anything like that, or maybe I forgot? D-Do you think the headmaster would be mad?!”

The look of terror on Naegi’s face is too much for Komaeda and he snickers at his silliness.

“Heh, I don’t know, maybe he’ll be mad we didn’t invite him.”

“Ah! Wait here then I’ll go invite- …” The panic in the younger’s face completely dissipates as he notices what’s going on. “H-Heeey! Don’t confuse me like that!”

Naegi whines and pouts in embarrassment while he slouches against the bed frame.

How cute.

“Sorry! Seriously though, how are you this naive?”

“Komaeda-kun!”

“I was just wondering, was that mean? Again, sorry, I tend to say more than I should.”

“It’s okay...I actually don’t know. W-Whatever, let’s just eat already, I’m starving!”

The older complies and sits beside the other, placing the remaining items down as well, but holding onto one in particular.

“Oh Naegi-kun! I wanted to express my gratitude for last night again, so I got you this...I remember you told me it’s one of your favorites.”

“You didn’t need to but...You remembered that I like Dr. Hopper? I mentioned that like a month ago!”

Komaeda shrugs, trying to make it come off as nothing big. It is though, he pays attention to everything Naegi tells Komaeda about himself. “It wasn’t hard to recall, it’s one of my favorites too.”

A tiny smile forms on Naegi’s face, seeing through Komaeda’s fake nonchalant act.

“Either way, thank you Komaeda-kun. It means a lot.”

Komaeda finds himself smiling back.

**\-----**

Once the two finished their meal they spent the rest of their free time in Naegi’s room. Komaeda didn’t want to go outside just yet, not until classes were over and the younger had no objections against that.

They spent most of their time talking and watching tv together, relishing each other’s presence without any interruption this time.

They decided to watch a mystery series and spend hours of chatter, laughter, and discussion with one another until the clock finally signaled that classes were done.

“Aw, classes are done for today already? That felt so short!” Naegi complains, it all went by way too fast for his liking.

“Huh? That’s okay, I really don’t mind spending more time with you today. I don’t need to go talk to anyone.”

“That’s not the problem, I actually have something I want to do…”

“Oh. I understand.” Komaeda hops off the bed. “I had a good time, see you Naegi-kun.”

“Y-You know, you should really let me finish my sentences! I was going to say I want to do it with you!”

“Hmhmhm are you referring to what I think you are? I don’t take you as a scandalous type, but if that’s what you want…”

“Komaeda-kun!” The younger exclaims flustered, speechless for a moment.

This is the first time Komaeda has let a comment like that slip from his mouth. He can’t say he regrets it, the face Naegi has right now makes it very worth it.

"All we’re gonna do is go find some people!"

"I know where this is going."

"To go sort things out and-"

"No. I'm fine without any of that thanks."

"Too bad, we're doing it anyway! Come on!"

Naegi clutches onto Komaeda's wrist and tugs him along as he speed walks his way outside, not resisting against him even a little bit.

_I can't even stand my ground around him…_

_Have I fallen that hard already?_

**\-----**

Face paced footsteps echo through the halls as their walking turns into running. Naegi hopes the older’s classmates haven’t left the room yet. He would have no idea how to track them all down if they aren’t. 

Their movement slows as they reach their destination, Komaeda looking irritated from having to willingly run so much today. 

Naegi pays him no mind and peeks inside the classroom, sure enough all of them are there.

The teacher as well.

“Oh my precious student and his friend are here! We’ve been waiting for you.” Yukizome cheerfully declares and runs on over to the two, motioning them to enter. “Come in, my little rotten oranges turned moldy stinky cheese have something they’d like to say to you.” “Hell no we don’t!”

The teacher’s smile cracks and whips her head around to glare at the student responsible for speaking. The previous aggravated look on his face is instantly replaced with shock, intimidated.

“Are you sure about that?” 

“U-Ugh… this is such bullshit.”

“Mas- Kuzuryu I believe we should do as we are told.”

“Yes you should. Such disrespectful behavior, that’s not how you talk to authority!” Koizumi huffs out, feeling frustrated with Kuzuryu.

“Exactly, thank you Koizumi-san for keeping him in line!’

The spunky woman pulls Naegi and Komaeda in and skips on over to the podium in the very front of the classroom. She springs her arm out and points at all of her students.

“Alright! Looks like we have one lesson left for today. No attacking your fellow classmates! Living out your youth to the fullest does not mean acting aggressive and mistrusting towards one of your own.” She shakes her head in disappointment. “I can’t believe only Nanami-san was the only one sensible enough to not partake in something so horrible…”

Naegi and Komaeda share a look of second-hand embarrassment as they see the rest of the class get scolded shamefully. 

_Wow, she really doesn’t hold back with her students..._

“Now then, I would go on about how rude you were again, but I think you all got your butts scolded enough yesterday! All that’s left for you all to do is apologize! No insincere stuff either, I can tell when you don’t mean it.”

The class goes completely silent. None of them speak up first.

“Okay I’ll just choose some of you to go first then. Hmmm Tsumiki-san you shall go first so stand up please! Set a good example for everyone. Don’t forget about our little underclassman over there!”

“A-Ah! Um o-okay!” Tsumiki jumps out of her seat and grasps onto a lock of her own hair and begins to lightly tug on it as she speaks. “I-I’m sorry K-Komaeda-san and Naegi-san! I s-shouldn’t have j-jumped to conclusions, p-please forgive m-me! I’ll do anything p-please just f-forgive me!”

Tear drops roll down the shaking female, it’s clear to see she’s genuinely remorseful for what she’s done. Naegi’s the first to speak up, wincing a bit at how distressed she looks.

“I-It’s okay! Thank you for apologizing, of course I forgive you!”

Then comes Komaeda’s response.

“Ah. Yeah, it’s fine, I would’ve done the same. Such disgusting garbage hanging with someone as wonderful as Naegi-kun is pretty suspicious. I get why you all did that.”

_Not again…_

“Perfect! Almost. Komaeda-kun you are not garbage, you’re my precious student. I’ll repeat it until you get it into your thick skull!” Yukizome corrects. “Other than that...good! You may sit down. Now… Souda-san it’s your turn!”

He groans in annoyance and does as he’s told.

And so it continues, Yukizome calling on each student to apologize except for Nanami who silently watches with sad eyes.

Naegi and Komaeda are forced to stand in the center of the room as each one goes by and speaks their most earnest apologies. At first it felt kind of sweet, hearing one student after the other muster out words that could properly paint their regret and shame…but after the fourth it got extremely tedious and they ended up being the insincere ones by the end.

This is not how Naegi expected it to go at all...

After all is said and done the two bolt out of there the moment they can, done with all the apologies. 

**\-----**

“That was so boring…”

Komaeda whines to the younger, not having enjoyed a single moment of that mess. Yukizome may have had good intentions, but that dragged on much longer than it needed to. A collective apology of “we’re sorry” would’ve been just fine.

“H-Hey at least they meant it!”

“You can’t tell me you didn’t want to get out of there as much as I did.”

“...that’s true.”

Naegi droops down and stares at the small pool of water next to him, lightly grazing it with a finger. The two are seated in front of the fountain again, while it may bring back some recent bad memories they couldn’t think of anywhere better to go after impulsively running away from Komaeda’s classroom.

“They’re really nice though, I can tell...maybe someday…”

“What could you possibly be thinking of now?”

“Nothing really, I was just thinking maybe we could-”

Komaeda abruptly interrupts Naegi, his face twisted into a grimace as he looks behind the younger. “Hold that thought. Tell me later, I need to get out of here.”

He makes way to leave, but is stopped by Naegi. Not understanding his haist and turns to look. It’s only Nanami walking this way, completely engrossed into the handheld she’s playing...why is he so upset about that?

“B-But it’s just Nanami-san why are you…?”

Naegi doesn’t have to wait long for answers. A student Naegi hasn’t seen before has approached the two from the school’s front gates, wearing a uniform he hasn’t seen around campus before.

“Komaeda…”

“Hinata.”

The two are glaring at each other with such intensity Naegi doesn’t even know how to react, he’s never seen Komaeda this angry before!

Luckily, he doesn’t have to panic for much longer, as Nanami finally arrives and bumps into him. She looks up from her game, puzzled.

“Huh..? Naegi-kun?” She takes in the scene before her before completely snapping back into reality. “Oh!”

In an instant she dashes over at the two males, who had gotten almost chest to chest while glaring at each other.

“HYAAAH!” Nanami cries as she wedges herself in between and pushes the two away from each other.

“Oof!”

“Ow, hey!”

“That’s enough! Why do you guys always do this? We’re supposed to be friends!”

_Friends…? They’re friends?! But they looked so mad at each other!_

Now Naegi really is interested to know who Hinata is.

“Komaeda-kun has another friend? That’s great! How come you didn’t tell me?”

The other luckster’s face hardens at that question, looking disgusted. “Because he’s not my friend! I would never be friends with such a talentless nobody!”

“Again with that insult! I’ve had enough of it, stop calling me that!”

“No. You’re worse than me!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

The two scowl at each other again, the atmosphere around them getting so thick not even a knife would be able to cut through it.

“H-Hey! Don’t fight!!” Nanami cries out in vain, neither of the two paying her any mind.

Naegi isn’t sure who exactly Hinata is...but he can tell he isn’t bad. Especially if Nanami thinks of him as their friend. Even though this isn’t his fight...he wants to intervene, but he wants to get some more information first.

“Um Nanami-san...who is that?”

“Oh, right I didn’t get to introduce you to each other...that’s Hinata Hajime. He’s a reserve course student. He’s my friend...but Komaeda doesn’t like him talking to me because of that and acts hostile around him all the time. Hinata-kun hates it...”

Nanami explains, looking upset as she continues to watch the two yell at each other in the background.

_That explains it. That’s not a good reason for being mean at all!_

“Komaeda-kun stop it!” Naegi angrily shouts out to him.

The angry expression immediately disappears from Komaeda’s face and his eyes widen, now directing his attention to Naegi instead. Hinata also goes silent at the younger’s sudden outburst and watches him with confusion.

“H-Huh, Naegi-kun…?”

“Hinata-kun isn’t doing anything wrong, leave him alone!”

Komaeda’s eyes widen at his assertiveness. “But he’s a nobody!”

“No he isn’t, but so what if he was?”

The luckster finds himself struggling to defend his actions, not knowing how to explain.

“H-He shouldn’t be talking to an Ultimate-”

“You remember how our talents don’t work when we’re by ourselves? Doesn’t that also make us nobodies?”

“B-But that’s temporary!”

“Yeah, but we always hang out! We’re talentless like all the time!”

Komaeda’s mouth drops at that realization, rendered silent by Naegi. He never, not even once, thought of it that way before. His pupils have shrunk in shock too.

Hinata looks at Naegi with even more confusion than before, not understanding what’s going on.

“Hey uh...do you mind filling me in? What are you saying?”

“Oh! Right, I’ll introduce myself, I’m Naegi Makoto. I’m the Ultimate Lucky Student of my class.” 

“Huh, another?! How is that possible?”

Nanami turns her head a little puzzled as well. “Hm, I was wondering that too.”

“I-I don’t know, I guess there can be a lot of lucky people?” He brings up a finger to scratch at his cheek in uncertainty. “But our lucks don’t work when we’re alone together, it’s kinda weird.”

“That’s good though, maybe now Komaeda-kun will stop treating Hinata-kun so badly and we can all finally be friends…”

Komaeda stares at Nanami without saying a word.

“I guess…” Hinata hestiatly says, not feeling so sure about that. “If you think that’s possible..”

“Of course it is! Hmm, maybe we can all hang out at the arcade on the weekend? We can bond over games!”

Nanami’s demeanour has brightened up, excitedly holding up her fists as her eyes shine.

“That sounds fun! Sure!”

Naegi agrees to the hang out despite the unsettling sharp gaze from Komaeda, it’ll be fine, he just needs to socialize some more.

“I can’t wait!” Nanami grins at him with energy. “We gotta go now, Hinata-kun and I have plans today, so we’ll see you then!”

“Oh okay! Bye!”

They exchange their goodbyes, except for Komaeda, and they exit through the front gate together leaving the two lucksters by themselves again.

And the older finally speaks once more, breaking out of his silence spell.

“Naegi-kun...why would you do that?!”

“Do what?”

“Hanging out at an arcade...with them?! Don’t you remember what happened last time at karaoke? Our lucks almost got everyone killed!”

“Oh, that...but that couldn’t have been why...the set up just malfunctioned I’m sure…”

“Don’t be so naive.” Komaeda states sternly. “ We can’t put Nanami-san at risk. You have to cancel.”

“No way! Besides...when we’re alone we can’t use our luck at all, maybe we just need to try to control it. It’ll be fine! Trust me.”

“...”

“Come on, you liked going last time, having some more friends will make it even more fun!”

A blank stare is thrown Naegi’s way, but he’s unfazed by it.

_Maybe...it’s time to use my secret weapon!_

He clasps his hands together and flashes puppy dog eyes at the other.

“Pleeeease!”

Komaeda’s stare breaks, blushing at Naegi’s adorable pleading. It worked just as expected, his mom and dad had never been able to resist it when used alongside his sister, but it looks like she wasn’t necessary this time.

“Nghh...fine, but I’m only doing this for you.”

“Yes! You won’t regret it, maybe you and Hinata-kun might even warm up to each other!” Naegi predicts with amusement. “I hope you don’t get too close, I don’t want my best friend getting stolen from me!”

Naegi isn’t serious with that last remark, just messing with Komaeda. He knows that wouldn’t happen, but even if it did he wouldn’t be mad.

It would actually be really nice if Komaeda started to open up to more people. While he may love having the luckster’s company all to himself, he wants other people to see this side of Komaeda as well. It would be a good step in the right direction for his delayed healing process.

“Don’t push your luck...” Komaeda grumbles out in defeat.

“What luck? I have none right now, remember?”

“Heh, okay you got me there.”

The two share a small laugh with one another before deciding to head back into the school building before it gets too dark out.

As they head back in Naegi finds himself looking at Komaeda more than usual, a warmth inside him growing with each small glance.


	8. To Socialize and Be Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought you've seen the last of me?  
> Nope I am just struggling out here, quarantine's been making things harder
> 
> I am okay though! So no worries, but my updates will be slower, sorry!

Unlike Komaeda's class, Naegi's didn't really feel the need to apologise. They hardly did anything aside from grabbing Naegi's attention. Kirigiri was the only one who went further than that.

So when the news about what happened to Komaeda spread and how class 77 got scolded they didn't have much of a reaction. All they really cared about was Naegi and he was fine so they were at ease.

Mostly. 

Kirigiri ended up confronting Naegi, it was as awkward as one would expect it to be.

She's not very good at socializing with others, but he could tell her apology was sincere and that she had good intentions, so Naegi forgave her easily. Kirigiri even promised she'd be less critical of Komaeda in the future since he's Naegi's closest friend. That was a huge statement considering her talent!

He was delighted at her efforts and thanked her and then made to leave...only to be hit by Kirigiri's words.

"Hey, you're going to want to get makeup for that bruise. Your bangs won't be enough... it's going to be really obvious soon." Her sharp eyes pierce through Naegi's soul. "Make sure he doesn't do it again."

A shiver ran down Naegi's spine at that. She didn't say the name but it's clear she had figured out who did it.

All he could do was nod and sputter out a quick thank you before leaving, too shocked to do anything more.

Part of him is relieved she didn't probe for details...but part of him is starting to worry.

He has to admit he hadn't thought about that bruise at all since that night, let alone been checking to see if his injury was becoming visible!

Naegi likes to forgive and forget, to give a person a chance to recover from their mistakes...and also it had been very late so everything that happened almost feels like a blur.

But after quickly checking himself with a mirror he thinks it's silly he never noticed how bad it's gotten. He's lucky no one had noticed besides Kirigiri...he forgot his talent has an occasional upside.

Now is when the reflection rolls in…

Naegi cares for Komaeda, he really does. He's his closest friend, but that night was really intense and he had seen a side of Komaeda that he'd never witnessed before. He was so ...broken, so different from his usual self.

Though for him to have felt the need to attack Naegi and do so...that isn't something he should ignore right? 

He's stayed awfully quiet about it too… to be fair Naegi did also but he forgot! 

Maybe Komaeda did too?

And all that hope talk...what was that? 

Now that he thinks about it...there's a lot of things that should probably be addressed properly.

**\-----**

"Hey Naegi-kun, are you even listening to anything I'm saying?"

"H-Huh?!"

"It has something to do with your white haired friend right?"

"How did you-"

"I just have good intuition!"

"Geez, how can your intuition be that good?!!"

"Well...you were also chewing on your pencil and staring into space with a serious look on your face. Our comprehension questions can't be that hard...you must have something else on your mind."

At that remark Naegi freezes and looks down at his hand. Sure enough he'd been gnawing away at his writing utensil.

_Am I really that much of an open book?!_

He lets the pencil drop from his hand and roll to a stop on his desk and now fully directs his attention to Maizono with a hint of uncertainty.

"Well...then do you think you can you help me out with something after class?" Naegi whispers out to her, barely audible. "I need some advice…"

Only for his eyes to widen and jumps back in his seat a bit.

"O-Only if you want to of course! I wouldn't want to waste your time!"

Maizono smiles sweetly and sighs at his nervous antics.

"Don't be silly Naegi-kun, you could never waste my time!" She says with a serious look on her face, making sure he can tell she means it. "Tell me whatever's on your mind later, right now...we should finish our work before we get scolded."

"Ah right, thanks Maizono-san!"

**\-----**

After class Naegi and Maizono stick around in the hallways to chat about what was on his mind. She's the second person to know about his bruise now.

Her reaction wasn't pretty.

He had never seen her this upset before.

Naegi didn't want to spill too much information about what was shared that night, so he did his best to exclude personal stuff from his explanation and summarize with vagueness to the best of his ability.

Little by little her anger cooled down as his explanation reached it's end and she was calm enough to mull everything over.

"I think… if I were you I would bring it up again. Pretending it didn't happen isn't good."

"I thought so, but isn't it a bit touchy though? Komaeda-kun might regret telling me all that! I don't want him to feel worse than he already does, he's my best friend!"

"But he did.." Her hand gently lifts up and grazes the upper left corner of Naegi's forehead where the bruise is. "That to you."

She sighs and lowers her arm, looking at the ground with a mixture of emotions.

"And you said he told you a lot of things too right? I don't really get it all, but you need to sort things out."

"I guess you're right… I just hope he doesn't think I'm mad at him."

Maizono springs at that and huffs.

"Even if you were you have the right to be! Don't forget that!"

Naegi lightly chuckles at her sudden fierceness and smiles.

Yeah he can do this.

Plus addressing that night again might lead to Komaeda opening up some more, but in a less 'break down after getting mauled by my classmates' type of way this time.

Naegi ends his chat with Maizono and thanks her for lending an ear before walking out to the front where the fountain lies. That's where the two usually meet after school to hang.

_That night…I felt so different._

_It's like a different me took over and Komaeda was different too._

_I learned so much about him too, but it wasn't during the best time…_

_But things will be different this time I just know it!_

**\----**

Naegi'staking longer than usual to meet up at their usual spot. Komaeda once would have spiraled into a minor meltdown at that, but he knows now that for some odd reason Naegi won't leave him. Not without telling him first at least.

Which leaves Komaeda to wait patiently and focus his mind on something he's noticed for a while now.

As time went byKomaeda's heart leaps more and more for the young cheerful boy he calls his best friend.

He can't believe he didn't see how wonderful Naegi was before.

Well he did, but not in the right way.

All he had cared about was being able to nullify his talent around him before… 

And those bright shimmers of a strong underlying hope inside Naegi.

It's shameful really, he pretty much didn't see him as a person. He hates himself for being so blind.

At least he's past that now.

His heart now soars for the one and only Naegi Makoto.

Those two things aside, Naegi is an absolute delight. He's never met anyone like him before.

The way he always is readily listening to what Komaeda has to say, the genuine happiness in his eyes when the two are together, and he doesn't ignore his self deprivation no matter how many times he's done it.

He doesn't deserve him.

He's truly is oh so lucky.

_It's a shame I can't let this go on for much longer..._

_He has to know, but I've already said so much._

_That was so embarrassing, having to make him hear such a pitiful backstory. I don't want Naegi to have to hear more of my patheticness._

_I just can't say more...maybe I can put it off a bit longer-_

Komaeda's snaps out of his thoughts, hearing footsteps approaching.

All tension in him is lifted away as he leaves that thought process behind and focuses on his friend.

Komaeda smiles and waves Naegi over to sit beside him on the fountain's edge, heart full.

"Ah hello Naegi-kun! Did your teacher keep you busy again?"

"Hi Komaeda-kun! Well…" Naegi looks off to the side with a nervous expression."Uh no not this time...it was something else actually. I wanted to talk to you about it."

That's new.

Naegi's never wanted to talk about something seriously before…

"Hm? That's alright with me-" Komaeda cuts off his own sentence to look behind Naegi, having heard the sound of some people growing near. 

"-It'll have to be later. Look who's here." 

Confused, Naegi turns around and sees Nanami and Hinata coming over.

"Hey! You guys ready to go now?"

Naegi's eyes slowly widen as the gears in his head begin to turn. 

"W-Wait-"

Komaeda shrugs and explains.

"Oh so I told them to wait a bit longer for you to show up. I would've told them to call it off, but...I know you're really excited about this so I didn't."

_I really wish I did,,, spending a day with that nobody is a waste of time. Not even Nanami is enough to make me go._

_Only for you Naegi-kun…_

That did not ease the confusion on Naegi's face, it only turned it into shock.

"Oh. OH. T-Today's Friday?!! I completely forgot!" He sputters out after a gasp, fumbling over his words.

'Hey it's okay, we can reschedule if you're too busy." Hinata suggests, with hint of over excessive eagerness.

Komaeda can't blame him for feeling that way. For once he feels the same way.

"Nono! It's okay! Let's do it! I'm ready, this is going to be so much fun!"

_I guess I'll have to try to bring this up later..._

**\-----**

At the arcade Komaeda finds himself regretting not trying to opt out when he had the chance.

Once again he feels fear stepping inside this building. 

Things had been much better when it was just Naegi and himself. There was nothing to worry about anymore, he could finally experience games for what they really are, not some glitchy hazardous mess.

Those days were always so liberating. They’d waste hours away on all the games available and when he would win against Naegi it felt earned, no luck involved whatsoever.

But this time it’s different, it’s not just them two hanging out, but a small group.

This throws their lucks’ balance off, no longer remaining stable.

There's no telling what could happen. He could end up hurting Naegi or Nanami or…!! 

Actually that's all he cares about.

Still, Komaeda feels himself begin to panic.

_There’s no telling what my luck will do to them… this is such an idiotic idea why did I agree to this?!_

“I’m so excited! I don’t know which game to go to first!” Naegi shouts out with a shine in his eyes. He’s already so happy.

He feels his heart skip a beat.

_Oh that’s why._

"Hmm there's a four player fps game that was added a while back...we could try that?"

Hinata looks at her with confusion. 

"Fps…?"

"Ah sorry, first person shooter. They're usually really violent, but I think they're fun."

"Oh yeah! I played some of those as a kid." Hinata muses. "I wasn't that good though…"

"Then let's do it!" Naegi declares energetically. "Together we'll be unbeatable!"

Nanami nods while grinning and Hinata nervously agrees. She starts leading away to where the game is at and Hianta follows.

Naegi makes to follow them, but Komaeda stops him.

He still isn't too sure about all of this.

"Hey… I don't know, I mean, someone as unworthy as me playing amongst you two-" He cuts off feeling Naegi glaring at him. "Uh...you all?"

Naegi continues to glare at him. So that wasn't it.

_Okay so he was more mad about the self hatred remark..._

Komaeda decides to ignore that.

"...it just feels too good to be true. I don't think this is going to be very safe with how my luck is. Your luck isn't harmful, but mine is. I should just leave and you can all have fun without me-"

"No I'm not leaving you behind!" He states seriously, unwilling to back down. "I told you, I promise it'll be okay. I'm sure there's something we can do together to control both our lucks. Let's just try to have fun, you don't hang out with people that often you know? I want you to have fun too..."

Naegi pleads and tugs on his arm, trying his best to get him to stay.

There's no way Komaeda could possibly say no to him.

_He cares so much…_

_I don't deserve it…_

"Ah fine...but I'm sorry in advance if the place blows up Naegi-kun."

The younger gasps.

"Don't say that!"

"But it's possible."

"N-No it's not! Now come on let's go, Nanami-san and Hinata-kun are probably already there by now!"

Naegi pulls him along in the direction the other two went and catch up just in time, Nanami was already starting to put the tokens in to start the game.

"Oh there you guys are! The games about to start, we're all going to be on the same team." Hinata informs them as he picks up one of the plastic gun controllers used to play.

"Yup, I put it on normal so it shouldn't be too bad." Nanami adds on while also grabbing a controller. "Just shoot any zombies you see!" 

"Okay, sounds easy enough!" Naegi says with confidence as he takes a controller.

Komaeda on the other hand, is too nervous to do that.

He's convinced he's about to get punished for having too smooth of a life lately.

Trying to push those thoughts away, he nervously reaches out for the controller in front of him.

Komaeda's hand barely grazes it, but several sparks fly out instantly and he jumps back.

"Haha I knew it… I'm about to get punished with bad luck for having such a peaceful life lately and you're all going to end up getting dragged along with me haaaah…" He mutters out with a painful laugh while slightly trembling in fear.

Nanami and Hinata look at him with a mixture of worry and shock, not knowing what to say from the suddenness of that.

_Something terribles going to happen because of me...it's all my fault I should've just left even if Naegi-kun gets mad it would've been worth it if it meant he wouldn't get hurt-_

_…huh?_

_Something's grabbing my hand…?_

Bewildered, Komaeda looks over at his hand and sure enough it's been clasped onto tightly by Naegi.

"It's going to be okay." He gives Komaeda's hand a squeeze. "How about we try it together?"

"Ah...o-okay." Komaeda manages to utter out, he can feel his face heating up by the second.

_His hand ... it's just as soft as I remember…_

Naegi then guides their hands to reach for the controller together and Komaeda closes his eyes, awaiting the worst.

However, only a single little spark flies out when their hands land on top of the controller this time and nothing more after that.

Komaeda opens his eyes slowly, still cautious.

"We're...okay?"

"Yeah! See, everything's okay!" Naegi cheerfully reassures the older.

Relieved, Komaeda smiles.

_Maybe we can have fun together after all…_

He goes to lift the controller up to begin playing, only to notice that Naegi's hand is still on his.

"Hmhmhm...you can let go now Naegi-kun...unless you don't want to. I don't mind, but that's going to make it hard for you to play since you need both hands for this."

Naegi's eyes widen and he pulls his hand back, face reddening a bit.

"O-Oh uh right! Sorry, um let's play!" He apologizes and grabs onto his own controller.

The game officially begins and the four are placed into your typical apocalyptic looking location alongside a cpu teammate that explains the ropes of the game aka the basic controls. Finally, the tutorial ends and then the real game begins.

“Komaeda-kun on your left! Shoot first!” Nanami cries out.

Instantly, he turns and points his gun to the left, finger on the trigger, but before he can even press it the screen starts to bug out. The graphics on the screen distort along with random flashing.

Nanami lowers her controller and looks at the screen then at Komaeda in confusion.

He winces, knowing this is his fault and starts to back away, but Naegi reaches for his arm and stops him.

“Hey don’t go! We can try something else, it’s okay-”

Hinata interrupts him.

“Uh guys? It’s actually starting to go away.” 

Surprised, the two look at the screen and sure enough the graphics are starting to go back to normal. Eventually all that’s left of the glitches is a spot in the upper left corner, but it’s easily ignorable.

“Woah...I think if Naegi-kun touches you, your luck dies down.” Nanami points out. “Like some kind of power negation, so cool!”

Naegi gasps and looks at Komaeda excitedly.

“See? If your luck starts again I’ll just hold onto you, we can still play together!”

_Is that really true..?_

_Naegi-kun just has to hold onto me…and he’s willing? He doesn't mind?_

Dumbfounded at this revelation and the possibilities that come with it, Komaeda doesn’t react much.

“Ah! Okay, let’s continue then.”

Having figured out a solution, the four end up spending the entire day on the same game. They laugh and shout as they work together to get through each stage. With Nanami on their team it wasn’t too difficult getting through the entire game all the way to the ending.

The forest they’re in starts to thin out, more sunlight coming through, it seems they’ve reached a way out, with no more zombies in sight.

The group approaches it, ready for the credits to roll, only to realize there’s something in the way; several zombies circling some... people?

They take a closer look only to notice the cpu teammate cry out...Komaeda had forgotten he existed. He continues, explaining that it's his family, they’ve been missing ever since this apocalypse started and he presumed they were dead, that they have to save them!

They four then proceed to push the swarm away and kill them, saving the family and allowing the cpu to reunite with them. The game ends as they all rush to safety.

Nanami beams at their accomplishment.

“Oh wow! We really finished it huh?”

“I know! That was so fun!” Naegi replies with elation.

“Yeah!” Hinata smiles. “We make a really good team.” 

“We really do huh...I guess we aren’t that different.” Komaeda muses, he has to admit, he didn’t mind being around Hinata. He might not be that bad after all.

**\-----**

Their hang out doesn’t last much longer as they realize it’s gotten really late and decide to call it a night. 

They split and go their own ways by pairs, which leaves Naegi and Komaeda to talk to each other as they walk to their dorms.

"Today was really fun...I haven't had that much fun with so many people in a long time…thank you."

"Hm? For what?"

"For convincing me to go. Hinata isn't that bad for a nobody."

"Hey don't be mean ...but I'm glad you warming up to him." Naegi smiles. "I had a lot of fun too, I've never gotten to the ending of a game before!"

"Eh? Really?"

"Yeah, I thought the ending was really cute. It made me think of my family! I wonder what they're up to..." 

_I haven't called them lately...I should change that. Maybe Komaeda would like to talk to them?_

Komaeda chuckles at that response.

"Heh that's typical of you Naegi-kun, you think about your family a lot. It must be nice, I can't remember what mine was like...ah. Never mind, I don't want to ruin our talk."

That reminds Naegi of something.

"Hey uh Komaeda-kun, remember how I said I wanted to talk?"

"H-Huh yes?"

"It's just...that night… I wanted to talk about it."

Komaeda's face hardens.

"Oh."

"First I just want to know something." 

Naegi looks around nervously, not knowing whether he's prepared to hear the answer."You...you didn't actually mean to hurt me right…? Not that I think you did it's just that Kirigiri being a detective and all noticed my bruiseand Ijustcan't stopthinkingabout itandIwasstartingtogetworried-"

Komaeda stares at him blankly for a while during his mumbling before giving him the most serious look he's ever seen on his face and cuts him off.

"I'm not going to lie to you Naegi-kun. I did. I was angry, but you didn't do anything wrong. I just...realized some stuff." Komaeda sighs and brings a hand up to his face. "But I regret it so much. I would never hurt you again. I just wasn't thinking right. It happens to me a lot... I'm sorry."

Naegi observes his friend, and sees such a pained expression makes it all clear.

_He was just hurting too much..._

"Komaeda-kun… I still forgive you. This doesn't change anything!" Naegi then hesitates for a moment. "But….uhm... that's not all."

The older lowers his hand a bit and looks at him with concern. His pained expression morphing into something more of extreme fear.

"W-What is it?"

"Ah it's nothing bad! It's just I've also been thinking about what you told me, about your past...that was serious too right? How come you never told me before then?"

The other then calms down at that question and shrugs.

"Oh that. Well I was just referencing something I read before for some dramatic effect, to make you feel empathy and shock at the same time. It worked right? So I don't actually-"

Naegi isn't taking any of that blatant lying.

"Stop...stop! Why are you lying?"

"..."

"Don't try telling me you aren't, I can tell, I'm not stupid! You were just mentioning it too!."

"......"

Still no response from him.

"Komaeda-kun...when I told you I will be here for you I meant it! I still do. You don't have to hide things from me and you can talk about it!" Naegi raises a hand up to his chest while locking eye contact. He needs to show him he's being genuine. "Like right now you wanted to bring it up but you stopped yourself. You don't need to, I'll listen."

Komaeda begins to crack, looking at him in disbelief.

"You don't have to force yourself like this…"

"I'm not forcing anything, I mean it! I care about you Komaeda-kun, I'm here for you!"

That's when Komaeda's composure completely breaks, a smile tugging at his lips as tears begin to brim his eyes.

"You really do mean it don't you?" He wipes away his tears before letting them fall. "Oh Naegi-kun...I truly don't deserve you…"

He sighs then looks at the younger with uncertainty.

"Are you sure you really want me to talk about myself more? I don't want to annoy you, I'm not the most important after all..."

"You are to me! I swear there's no way that would annoy me. You should finish your thoughts more, I'll listen!" Naegi encourages, he really doesn't want his friend to stay closed up like this any longer. "Please tell me what was on your mind."

"Well... it's pretty much pointless. I just don't remember what it's like to have a family anymore. I've been on my own for a long time. All I want is...that feeling again. To feel..." He goes quiet.

"...loved." Komaeda mutters silently, Naegi could barely hear.

_He's been alone all this time?_

_I wish he told me sooner!_

_This is awful…_

"Komaeda-kun…" Naegi looks at him with a sorrowful look on his face. It hurts his heart so much to hear that.

"But it's fine. There's no way I could get anything like that back anyway, but thank you for listening. No one's done that for me before-"

His words trail off as Naegi tackles him with an embrace, holding him close. Komaeda doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around him as well.

"I wish I could do something…" Naegi mumbles into Komaeda's jacket, trying to think of something.

"It doesn't matter, I've gotten used to it. I'm fine. Don't worry about it, I was just lamenting."

Komaeda breaks away from the hug after a few more moments pass, pointing out that they really should hurry getting back, they're going to get in trouble.

Naegi complies, but he can't get those words out of his head...

Even when saying their goodbyes and going back to their dorm rooms he lies in bed staring at the ceiling, thinking.

There must be something…

_I don't want Komaeda-kun to be so lonely anymore._

_He's lived by himself for so long!_

_He doesn't deserve that._

_Can I change that?_

And then he realizes.

He has an idea.

An idea for a solution that he won't let Komaeda refuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I wonder what Makoto came up with?


	9. Inclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter officially marks me going past the amount of chapters I thought this fic would have!
> 
> Funny how things don't always work out according to plan, not that I mind, I like writing this... even if takes a while lol

Komaeda enters his dorm and shuts the door. He leans against it as he thinks about what just happened, hand against his chest.

He's never been one to openly express his more personal thoughts. It's one of the few things he's able to hold back with. 

Komaeda doesn't like making people deal with those sort of things. Typically they're grateful for that; not being able to stand most of his remarks anyways.

However, when Naegi saw right through him he couldn't keep dodging the truth and he opened up for the first time. He felt like he could, like he needed to.

It was nice.

But a bit embarrassing and pitiful, though Naegi didn't see it that way. There was actual concern and sadness in his eyes when he listened.

_Naegi-kun didn't force himself to care._

_He already does…_

_He cares about trash-_

_No._

_He wouldn't like that._

_He cares about...me._

He can't help a grin from being plastered onto his face and he walks over to his bed. Komaeda let's himself flop onto it, feeling a little light-headed from happiness.

_So lucky…I'm so lucky._

_That bad luck with all my classmates was definitely worth it… but that doesn't come close to how much good luck I've been getting._

This thought bothers him. Could this imbalance really be okay?

Should he brace himself or continue living in the moment?

_Ah well if someone dies in a car crash tonight I just know that would be because of me haha…_

He thinks to himself, trying to justify the luck cycle imbalance somehow.

_Or maybe…_

His heart skips a beat.

_Naegi-kun...your luck...is it trying to protect me?_

The smile from earlier creeps onto his face once again with a blush heating up his cheeks..

Komaeda swears that everyday he just finds more and more reasons to fall harder for the younger luckster.

It almost feels as if they're meant to be…

_That can't be possible… especially not with **it** being around…_

But he can't help but entertain the idea.

He knows someone as wonderful as Naegi would never see Komaeda in a romantic light, he's lucky they're even close friends.

He deserves better, like Maizono. She's such an amazing idol and so sweet to Naegi. They'd be great together, they've even known each other since middle school.

Or Kirigiri the stoic detective. She may have caused problems but she had been looking out for Naegi the entire time, she must have a soft spot for him.

There's also Togami. He used to be very rude and disrespectful to everyone, but Komaeda can tell that Naegi's kindness is rubbing off on him. He isn't barking at everyone as much as before. Naegi's a good influence to him.

There's also Ikusaba, she always seems so unsure of herself but Naegi calms her down easily. She expresses herself more around him.

They'd all be great partners for him. Much better partners than himself.

Hell, honestly any student at Hope's Peak would be a better partner for Naegi.

But still…

He wants to imagine a world where they're truly meant to be together.

Komaeda would be able to hold the smaller close, to bury his face in his hair, to interlock…!

A finger is raised to light graze across his lips.

_I can only hope and dream for something as wonderful as that._

He heavily sighs and rolls onto his side, now face to face with the shelf in his room where he stores all his personal books.

A book could help him get his mind off of things.

He just has to decide which one.

They're all mainly mystery and horror, those genres are amusing and interesting to him. No other genre is really among his books, due to them making him too anxious or upset.

Romance is one of the latter.

He never saw himself being someone's object of affection. Romance films, shows, books, etc...they always made him a bit bitter because of that.

Even so he still got a few and shoved them in the very front of his shelf. It was meant to be a painful reminder that he'd never have anything like that ever.

Pursing his lips, face hot, he gets up and approaches his literature collection and swiftly reaches for the romance books, his hands gripping them tightly.

He then swats away the dust that had been piling up on them and hesitates for a moment. His fingers hover over the cover before deciding to open one up.

_These tend to be extremely cheesy and overly cliched…so predictable I can figure out the ending before I'm even half way through the novel..._

_Still...if it were all with Naegi-kun...that wouldn't be so bad._

He sits down and let's himself spend the night reading the novels and picturing the scenarios with Naegi and himself.

As the minutes go by, he flips through more and more pages and Komaeda's heart begins to softly ache.

He doesn't understand why.

It's fine, he's aware it's impossible. It's unrealistic. Unrequited even. It's all just what if scenarios anyway… it's not like he would even attempt to confess or anything silly like that.

Not like he would allow himself to.

He's just entertaining the concept is all.

He's not asking for his feelings to be returned.

He's okay with what they have now.

Their friendship is a beautiful gift.

That's really all he needs.

He wants nothing more.

He 

wants

~~nothing~~

more.

**\-----**

A lot of time has passed since he first stepped into Hope's Peak Academy. So much time in fact, that it's now the day before Summer break officially begins.

Naegi has been patiently waiting for this day for quite some time now, so much that it had always been on his mind. It made concentrating on class extremely difficult.

But now the day is here and everyone gets to relax and have fun without school getting in the way for a while.

Naegi can't wait to carry out his plans for the break!

So when he's running down the halls and collides with a distracted Komaeda and sends them both tumbling onto the ground...he feels no shame.

He quickly springs back up onto his feet and grins with excitement as he lends a hand to get the other up as well.

"Komaeda-kun!!!" Naegi shouts out, barely being able to control himself.

Komaeda's wide eyes switch into ones of amusement and curiosity.

"Yes? I'm guessing there's something you want to really tell me?"

"Yeah! And I won't let you say no, there's no excuse!"

"Haha alright, go ahead and tell me what's got you looking so energetic already."

Naegi reaches for Komaeda's hand, clasping it between his own and locks his eyes with him.

"So for break I'm going back home...and I'm taking you with me! I already made preparations and-"

Komaeda's face turns whiter than his already white complexion and yanks his hand back.

"W-What?!" His eyes dart away. "You want me to stay at your home...with your family? You can't be serious."

"Yes! It'll be fun! I already set up a room and got some-"

"No."

Naegi's elated demeanor breaks and he looks at Komaeda with confusion and hurt.

"Huh..? N-No? But I already…"

"I can't."

"Why not..? I thought you'd be free since…"

"Listen Naegi-kun, I know my place in this world. Being your friend is already something I would've only dreamt of. And that's somehow our reality. But I don't deserve to be around your wonderful family, I could put them in danger with my luck... Besides they wouldn't like someone like me anyway. It's for the best."

"No, that's wrong!" The words instantly fly out his mouth the moment Komaeda is done speaking. Almost instinctively, like something he'd say a lot in another circumstance. "I already asked them. They want you to come over because I talk about you all the time! They like you already! Plus, you know we can control your luck already!"

Naegi latches onto the other's hand, squeezing it as a reminder of what they have to do to control it.

Komaeda's face flushes, taken by surprise. 

"R-Really…?! But I just don't understand...they can't truly want me to stay for that long. They must've meant just a short visit-"

"Still wrong! They helped me set up your room, they're all on board! Especially Komaru, she's curious about what you look like!"

Komaeda scoffs at that in amusement.

"Okay then, but she's going to be disappointed, I don't look like anything special, just some insignificant human-"

_Not this again…_

"That's not true at all!" 

_Maybe I prove him wrong every time he says stuff like that about himself, he'll start to think otherwise?_

"...Like for example your hair's really pretty. It goes well with your skin! Have I mentioned that before?" Naegi wonders to himself as Komaeda is taken back by the sudden compliments. Blush burns the older's face. "Hmm I guess not, but it's true! Now come on let's go!"

Naegi eagerly tugs on Komaeda's hand and drags him along to the dorms to get packed for their leave, not giving him the chance to properly react.

**\-----**

Packing up doesn't take very long, all they really need is extra clothes and any personal belongings they'd want to take with them.

Soon enough the two have rejoined back at the front of the school and start their walk to the subway station.

The ride was uncomfortable and very cramped, but well worth it. Not much time passes before they've reached the street that Naegi's home is located in and the younger tugs the older along impatiently.

"We're almost here! Come on!"

"I'm ...a-already right...b-beside you!"

The two scramble to the front door, out of breath. Maybe running with bags full of stuff wasn't the best idea.

"We're….here! Fin..ally…!" He cries out. "D-Did...we...really need...to run…?"

Komaeda wheezes out in exhaustion and smiles at him weakly, only for it to be replaced with a look of terror within seconds.

"W-Wait….this is re..ally h-happening? Are..you sure this..is a g-good idea?" He pauses to level out his voice. All that running seems to have affected him. "It's highly likely they won't like me, but feel forced to let me stay out of common courtesy, I shouldn't-"

Naegi frowns and kicks off his shoes before pulling out his house key and unlocking the door.

"Oops too late my hand slipped, we're going inside!"

"N-Naegi-kun!"

Naegi pauses, a thought crossing his mind.

"Hmm... actually, you know what? That name is going to get repetitive fast,you should call me Makoto now!” He suggests with a grin. “I don't know why I didn't say that sooner, sorry!"

Komaeda's eyes pop at that request, mouth agape.

"Ah...o-okay N-...Makoto-kun. Then...you can do the same for me, if you want aha." Komaeda nervously suggests.

"Yeah! Now let's get in already Nagito-kun!"

The smaller quickly walks in with Nagito trailing behind after kicking his own footwear off and then announces his arrival to everyone.

"Mom!! Dad!! Komaru! I'm here! And I brought Nagito-kun with me!!"

And with that his sister runs over and looks at them with awe.

"Makoto!! It's been so long!! And you really did bring your friend!” Komaru looks at them with surprise. “I still can't believe you have the same talent, that's like so crazy!" She exclaims with disbelief. "Oh sorry, forgot to introduce myself."

She half waves at Nagito and grins.

"I'm Naegi Komaru, Makoto's younger but way taller sister!" ( _you didn't need to say that!)_ "I know you're Komaeda-kun already though, I've heard lots about you! I wonder if Makoto ever talked about me though."

"Ah Naegi-san, it's good to finally meet you. But don't worry, he did mention you, a lot actually. It seems like you too are close." Nagito points out with amusement. "I thought siblings weren't supposed to get along this well?"

He laughs and quickly waves that question off.

“But what do I know? I'm just-” A pause. “I mean, I have none…ahah.”

_Oh, wait he just…!_

Makoto sends a look of pride Nagito’s way, which he returns with a look of embarrassment and averts his eyes.

Komaru raises an eyebrow at the exchange.

"I mean, we do fight...sometimes." Makoto brings up, steering them back towards their conversation.

_It's best to not bring up something as personal as Nagito-kun's low self esteem...not when he's working so hard to cut that down._

"...Yeah! It's not like he's the best brother in the world or anything. He always eats the food I save in the fridge like come on! I was saving that and you knew and ate it anyway!"

"I swear I didn't know!"

"Liar!" Komaru rolls her eyes and looks back at Nagito. "See? Terrible sucky brother. Totally not worth having one, you're not missing out.”

Makoto scoffs at that and brushes her off.

"Anyway, I guess my parents are in the kitchen right now busy making dinner. Meanwhile let me show you your room! Komaru and my parents spent days making it look right."

He starts walking towards the room's location and the two follow.

"Is that true?" Nagito asks, feeling touched. "You spent that long? Just for me..?”

Komaru smiles and crosses her arms.

"Only 'cuz he begged us to! Kidding! But he really cared about you staying over break so we couldn't just leave you in some crummy normal looking guest room! Not when you're Makoto's first best friend!"

_O-Oh no...did she just?!!_

_Komaru tends to overshare, but this is…!!_

"Komaru!!" Makoto's face burns with embarrassment. "Come on you didn't have to-"

Nagito looks at them with disbelief and bewilderment.

"Huhhh? Are you being serious? That doesn't make any sense, how is it possible for me to be the first? I can't imagine a single person who wouldn't want to be close to him."

"Well now yeah, but not before!" She taps her finger against her cheek while thinking. "I guess he was so ordinary no one considered him their best friend? Too boring maybe? I was the closest friend he had, but I dunno if that counts...”

She finishes her explanation off with a carefree shrug.

"H-Hey I'm still here!"

"I know! Think about it though, I'm pretty ordinary too, but I have a few best friends! This is why I told you to get into more manga, I bet you that would've changed everything. That's how I met Chieko! ” Komaru lectures him.

Makoto bites the inside of his mouth, stopping himself from yelling at his sister.

_She's saying way too much…!!_

Thankfully, Nagito's room was finally in sight and he jumps to change the topic. 

"Oh wow hey look at that! Uh looks like we're here! I can't wait for you to take a look around."

He reaches over and pulls Nagito inside.

**\-----**

Nagito doesn't know where to start.

There's a lot of information he has to process. Especially the fact that he's Makoto’s first best friend.

How can that be?

The explanation Komaru offered doesn't make sense.

How can Makoto being too normal or average be not appealing enough to others? Those are things he loves about him. He's simple and easy to understand. He doesn't hide things from others and is very approachable, things other people aren't very good at most of the time.

Not to mention how optimistic and forgiving he is. There's nothing about Makoto that Nagito doesn't like.

How is it that no one tried to make a bond that deep with him before? Those unremarkable people don't know they're missing out on.

It's strange, while this does makes him feel angry towards those that went to school with Makoto, he also feels sort of special in a way. 

Which he shouldn't, this isn't a good reveal, but he's never been anyone's best friend before… 

Nagito doesn't get to dwell upon those thoughts for long because Makoto soon pulls him over to where he's staying and his mind momentarily shuts down.

_This...th-this is..!!!_

For as far as he can see every wall and corner has been filled with varying types of beautiful flowers and several potted plants. The light from the windows shine upon them so elegantly it makes them all look so stunning.

The walls has been repainted from their original color to a light yellow and accented with a bit of white, making the room feel bright, cheerful, and welcoming.

They went all out.

Just for him.

“Sooo...what do you think? If you don't like it please tell me! I didn't have much to go off of…” Makoto begins weakly. “That's my fault though, I realized when on phone with everyone that you don't talk about yourself often and that I should've asked more! But it was too late I couldn't just ask you then, it'd ruin the surprise! So I went off that one time you told me you like beautiful things and any hope that shines bright.”

“That made me think about what’s considered beautiful in this world and I thought of flowers and plants...so we got a bunch of those! For the walls I thought since the sun shines brightly a light yellow would be nice...but I realize now those were all pretty dumb ideas...I mean.. the sun isn't even yellow…”

Makoto ends his thought process with a meek smile and Komaru face palms.

“Wait, you're telling me you didn't even know if he'd like this stuff?? Makoto!!”

Nagito has never felt so grateful before. To put this much effort into putting something together for him, while considering what he'd like the entire time–he is hopelessly in love with Makoto now and there's no coming back from that.

It makes his heart want to burst.

_He's...so amazing...how is it possible for such a hopeful human to exist? Every moment I spend with him...it makes me feel ease. Not only from despair, but with myself as well..._

_I want to tell him...how he makes me feel..._

Without control his mouth opens up, words dripping with adoration and passion.

“Makoto-kun, there's no way for me to possibly be able to describe how much I truly love-” Nagito quickly switches gears. He can't say that. “-this room. It's perfect. Thank you, it's better than anything I could've asked for…"

Makoto instantly brightens up, a smile forming.

“Ah, really?! I'm so glad! I really hoped you'd like it!”

Komaru glances between the two with thought, almost with some sort of suspicion. Her face then shifts to express realization. 

Is her face...pink?

“H-Hey don't forget I helped actually put it together! But, um, forget it. I just remembered I gotta go help Mom and Dad. See you two at dinner!”

She quickly speedwalks out of the room.

"Oh…what a shame. I wanted to talk to her some more."

"Uh that's okay we can talk later at the dinner table." Makoto reminds him and scratches at his cheek nervously. "You'll get to see my mom and dad there too."

"Ah that's true…"

"For now, we should unpack! I'll be further down the hall in my room if you need me! I'll come get you when I'm done, I think dinners ready pretty soon."

And with that the younger exits Nagito's room, leaving him to unpack at his own pace.

It's strange. Very strange.

Nagito has had multiple rooms, including the dorm at Hope's Peak, but this has got to be his favorite. It may not be as luxurious as the ones he's had in his home...but it has so much heart.

He loves it.

As he opens up his bags he feels himself tear up suddenly.

_Why am I crying? ...have I become depressed? No that can't be it,.._

He reaches for some jars containing stones and places them down gently upon a desk, in doing so he notices his reflection. He hadn't noticed but he's been smiling this entire time.

_Ah, tears of happiness…_

_I have been happy lately haven't I?_

He continues pulling out his items and placing them around his room all while thinking to himself.

He wants to assure himself that this is all temporary and that either despair or his luck will intrude, but Makoto has been deflecting each so consistently that he's starting to believe otherwise.

His life has gone from being unpredictable and chaotic to... somewhat stable and normal. Things he had convinced himself that he didn't want.

Oh how wrong that is.

To think he had almost decided to forever ignore Makoto from the first time they spoke…

How absurd that would've been.

Nagito can't imagine where he'd be now if he wasn't friends with the other luckster.

Several minutes pass as he reflects on their friendship and eventually finishes unpacking and takes a step back to admire his room.

_This really is where I'm staying for this entire break then…I can't believe it._

**\-----**

Makoto's finished unpacking a while ago and has gone to get Nagito for dinner.

Weirdly enough, he feels sort of nervous for his friend to meet his parents.

He's introduced his friends to his family before so he doesn't know why he's so nervous about it.

_Well, there's no avoiding it...I'm sure it'll be great! They sounded really excited about having him over._

They arrive at the dining room and there are his sister and father already seated while his mother places the last few plates of food down. His parents notice their arrival and turns to greet them.

"Oh Makoto you're here!!" His mom quickly puts down her last plate and walks over to Nagito. "This must be Komaeda-kun, it's great to have you join us dear! We've been waiting for you! Please come have a seat."

She ushers him over to sit as Makoto goes and seats himself, the other flushes at the amount of attention he's receiving.

"A-Ah...t-thank you Mrs. Naegi-san." 

"It is great to finally meet you! Makoto's talked our ears off on the phone about you! I still can't wrap my head around you two both being lucky students either, fascinating really." Makoto's father chimes in.

"That's what I said!" Komaru adds.

"It is a pleasure to be amongst the family of Makoto-kun." Komaeda slightly bows in his seat out of extreme respect. "But yeah, it's an interesting coincidence…"

Makoto's mother then finally sits down after handing out drinks and everyone briefly says a thank you for the food before digging in.

As they eat a lot of conversation breaks out ranging from what Komaeda likes to do in his spare time to what everyone's hopes for the future are.

It's all going along really well and Makoto's way more relaxed than he was at first.

Until his sister brings up a certain topic.

"You know talking about the future and stuff makes me think about where we'll end up in the end, like, marital wise."

Makoto swears he sees her eyes dart over to Nagito for a second.

"Huh?"

"I dunno I was just wondering. Like the way Dad met Mom was so sweet and how Dad proposed on white day...I just wonder if we'll all get a happy ending like that."

"Well of course you will Komaru! I know there's a special someone out there waiting for you!" Makoto's mom responds cheerfully.

Nagito's been silently eating this entire time so far, just watching with intrigue.

"Yeah…yeah you're right." By the way, what if one of my friends got married to a woman and invited me to it as her maid of honor? What would you think?"

Makoto looks at her with confusion not understanding where that came from.

The other luckster has slowed down his eating pace, looking sort of... tense?

"Oh Komaru honey that would be amazing! We'd be so happy for her and that would be such an honor for you!"

Makoto's still puzzled but he nods in agreement.

"Yeah that's great, but didn't we talk about this before? At least, I thought we did.."

"She must've forgot, silly Komaru forgets things here and there." His father replies. "Still, we'd be happy, but I wonder what made you think of this?"

"I dunno, my mind was just thinking. I think I saw her with a yuri manga once…no big deal." She smiles and continues eating.

Nagito doesn't comment on that, just nods.

However it seems he's become much more relaxed than he was seconds ago.

As the conversation moves onto a discussion about plans for their break Makoto wonders to himself if Komaru meant something else by that sudden topic change.

It’s probably no big deal like she said.

He must be overthinking it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's curious in my fic I've made it so in their world lgbt is widely accepted, more so than in our world. No one's a homophobe, some just have some lingering traditionalist views. Those people tend to be elders and occasionally some parents, but it doesn't cause them to be hateful more like a bit disappointed? They wouldn't kick out their children or anything though.
> 
> Just wanted to explain that a bit since June's almost here <3


	10. Life with Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think I might update weekly now...or biweekly.
> 
> We'll see!  
> 
> 
> _Also I'm aware of what's been going on, I've been doing my part...I hope you all have been too! ^^_

Accepting Makoto's invite to spend his break with the others family has to be one of the best choices Nagito has ever made.

Each day is a treat, he gets to spend time with his favorite person and just relax.

This varied from watching shows with Makoto in either of their rooms, playing games, occasionally watching a movie, and a lot more.

But not all time was spent with just him.

Komaru also pulled him aside too, surprisingly.

She would ask him to read manga with her, check out a newly airing anime sometimes, and once even was asked to read some of her own plans for a manga.

"My brother thinks it's silly and I know it is, but I really want to make one.." She told him, looking a little deflated. Her demeanor then switches into one with more passion and determination. "I know it'll take a lot of work, but I still think I can do it!"

For someone not having a talent, she still has a strong fire in her for this career.

Even though she's what he would've once considered a 'nobody' he found himself believing her.

"The drawing part isn't too hard. I just need like an editor or test reader...I wanted to ask Fukawa-san to help, since she's one of Makoto's friends...but she's not open to the idea." She sighed. "She doesn't like manga…"

"That's quite the shame…" Nagito was at a loss for words, he wasn't shocked, but he didn't know how to react to someone so normal with so much devotion. 

Then he got curious.

"And what of your friends? Why haven't you asked them to help?"

"Oh, no no I can't! I'm dedicating this to them, it has to be a surprise! I can't let them see it yet!"

"Hm... I see how that would be a problem."

"Yeah and Makoto isn't very big on reading, plus my parents don't really get it...but now you're here!" She bounced in glee and went to snatch a notebook from her desk and shoved it into his hands.

Her eyes were full of excitement and hope.

"You like reading! You can help me!"

His eyes went round from the bold approach.

"I-I suppose I could...manga isn't necessarily my preference, but I like it."

"So it's settled, you're my test reader!" She declared happily.

And from there a lot more time was spent with Komaru.

Not that he didn't enjoy her company, it's refreshing.

And forces him to think about something other than the boy he has feelings for.

But of course, not all time was spent indoors.

Makoto being the unintentional social butterfly he is, he would get invited to small hang outs with friends.

Each time Nagito would get asked to come along with him, but he'd only accept a couple times.

Not only is he still getting used to being around several people at once still, but he doesn't want to take up all of Makoto's time.

He deserves to be with others.

Nagito's learned that.

And aside from friends and each other, there's also family time.

Sometimes the Naegi family would go out to have a trip together, going to the shopping district, eating at new restaurants, or just like a stroll in a grand park. 

Little ordinary things like that.

They'd take Nagito along every time without exceptions, no amount of polite declining worked.

Secretly he was very glad they didn't let him stay behind for these were all things Nagito hasn't been able to enjoy with a family unit in a long, long time.

It's not really anything remarkable to any outsider, but to him it's something he didn't know he's been missing all this time.

The best part is that the Naegis don't treat him like a burden or fifth wheel–he swears he is–at all.

They treat him like he's a part of them.

For example, Makoto's parents won't let him spend a single penny when they're out together.

Which he doesn't understand.

He's explained to them several times.

The most recent time was when they were at a sushi place and the bill was set.

Makoto and Komaru had left to go wash their hands and wait outside, but Nagito trailed behind.

He attempted to speak with the parents in secret, like a couple times before.

Hoping this time they'd understand.

"I strongly appreciate you both paying for me, but it's fine, really, I have money to spare. My luck is quite powerful in that regard. I have a large inheritance and I can even pay for the whole meal myself, it would be my pleas-"

He cut himself off when he noticed the dad left to go pay the amount due at the register.

Nagito watched silently until he returned.

"And that's that! Bill's been paid." Makoto's father reached over and rustled the hair on the top of Nagito's head. "Don't stress kid, we'll take care of you while you're with us."

"Mhm, I know you mean good, but you're with us sweetie! Just enjoy the day!" The mother agreed, having joined the conversation after exiting a nearby restroom.

"O-Oh...alright." Once again Nagito could tell there's no use fighting. "Well...thank you, the meal was fantastic."

That was the last time he tried.

**\-----**

While spending time with others is great, it can get... suffocating. He finds it hard to put into words, but Nagito does find himself needing some alone time despite having spent a lot of his life alone.

Perhaps it's just something he adapted to so well that now he sort of needs it?

Either way, he needed space.

And it wasn't hard to figure out how to get some.

Nagito became an extremely early waker.

In the very early hours of the day is when no one else is awake yet, which allows him time to himself. 

With that time there's several things he enjoys doing.

He likes to spend that time cleaning around the house.

It's become part of his routine now, aside from the cleaning he already does such as helping wash dishes after every meal and setting the table.

Cleaning and helping out with simple things like that were some of the few things he was able to do all his life, so he's grown attached to doing them even now. 

The Naegi family certainly doesn't mind it, 

Makoto's mom is always commenting on what a sweet boy he is and reminding him how much they appreciate it all.

But he still feels like he should do more…

Even with how much despair swirls within his head thinking about that day, he can't deny there was indeed a positive consequence to his family's death.

Money.

Tons of money, so much it almost feels endless.

It could be endless, but he doesn't like the thought of abusing his luck in that area too much...not like he has much use for all that money.

Until now.

While Nagito may not have any desire for all material items he could obtain with all those riches, there are others who would probably use a taste of that much wealth.

Of course, he can't just gift them money though.

The Naegi family wouldn't be the type to accept that type of gift, he knows that well by now.

The most he's even been able to buy Makoto were occasional snacks here and there, but he'd like to splurge so much more for not only him but the rest of his family too. 

So he planned out how to make that happen.

Once he's done cleaning he always takes a stroll around the street, just to enjoy the outdoors.

But now it has a different purpose.

Now he returns each time with several goodies of appreciation.

Ranging from small things like trinkets, gift cards, manga to electrical home appliances, video games, and jewelry.

They always look so shocked waking up to those gifts in the morning, like kids on Christmas day. Whenever they ask Nagito why or how he claims he just found them while on a walk. 

That it's all just a luck kind of thing. That his good luck must’ve spiked being around such wonderful people and that it would only make sense to give them those items.

Most fall for the explanation and accept them with cheery gratitude, but it seems Makoto doesn't buy it. Not that he says anything though.

Doing this was effective at first, he adores spending his money for once and with a good reason. Their smiles when receiving items they'd been secretly wanting for a long time now in front of them was a sight Nagito loved to see. It's a kind of genuine pure hope that he doesn't see often, one that accompanies no greed.

But now it's gotten to the point where Nagito has brought them so many things that their house looks all decked out. 

It looks common and regular on the outside, but once you step in you'd think you're in some rich neighborhood's house. It sort of has a whiplash factor to it all...

But even with all that he's bought for them, he doesn't feel like it makes up for the kindness they've shown him while staying over…

**\-----**

The next morning during his walk he decides not to come back with any more items, he can tell they've run out of ideas of what to do with them.

He doesn't want to be a nuisance, though that may be too late...they could already think that way.

Not that he would blame them for thinking so.

But now he doesn't know how else to express his gratitude.

_How can I ever repay them…? Their household is so welcoming and enjoyable and I'm just a lowly human taking up space…_

While lost in thought, his eye catches a shadow run past him in the corner of his eye. 

He turns to get a better look, only to identify the scampering figure as what appears to be a stray Akita Inu puppy.

"Eh..? You're quite young, you must be lost…"

Nagito attempts to reach out to the puppy, trying to check for a collar but quickly comes to see it has none.

_Ah, I guess it might have been abandoned…_

The puppy barks happily at Nagito and nuzzles against his hand, confusing the collar check for petting.

Realizing it's need for affection, he makes to actually pet the pup...but something grabs it's attention. It leaps away before he can.

Curious about what caught it's attention he takes a look in the direction of where the puppy went.

On the other side of the street there's a mother walking along with a stroller, a baby inside.

The infant is playing with a small toy ball, but ends up dropping it by accident and it rolls off the sidewalk and onto the road.

The puppy has long since noticed this and it's ears perk up and begin to run out to the road to grab it, not paying any attention to how many busy cars are passing by.

The excitement the puppy goes through to retrieve a toy ball, makes Komaeda's eyes widen in horror.

It's all too familiar.

It's the same way he lost his own dog.

"A-Ah, stop! Wait!"

Several cars are drawing near and not slowing down. The size of the critter must prevent it from being visible from the driver's seat... and the pup is completely unexpecting, not aware of its dangerous surroundings.

In a panic, Komaeda launches himself onto the road and scoops up the small stray into his arms, not considering how he's risking his own life. He shuts his eyes expecting the worst.

But being around Makoto for so long sometimes makes him forget.

His talent still exists as strong as ever.

Nagito reopens his eyes, confused. 

The entire radius of where he is is perfectly fine. Not a single skid mark or injury on him.

But every car that had been at the intersection has crashed into either each other or onto a building on the sidewalk.

With further inspection that must be about seven cars totalled.

"Oh...my luck still works like this." He frowns. "And still destructive as ever…why am I surprised…"

He sighs, Nagito certainly didn't miss this part of his luck at all. He always hated the downside of it causing harm. 

Mostly towards Ultimates but he's had a viewpoint shift.

They may be ordinary common people, but he's begun to feel differently towards them. While Nagito once would've not cared, he does now.

Talentless people can be okay sometimes…so they don't deserve to suffer.

He hopes they're alright, at least for the most part.

His worry is interrupted by the pup in his arms jumping up and licking his face.

Oh right, this was all to save the little puppy.

"Haha, okay okay. You're quite cute actually, maybe my rashness was worth it."

He glances at the disaster site around him and gets himself back up on his feet.

"...More or less? Still...I like you. I think I'll try to get you fixed up before sending you to an adoption center somewhere." He mumbles to himself. "But first...your fur is way too filthy and you seem like you could use a meal."

The little one simply yaps out happily in response and the luckster can't stop himself from smiling.

_Hmm...I don't know how to put it, but having been able to save such a young life from such a despair filled end...it's fulfilling._

He carefully carries the stray in his arms as he scurries out of the accident site, rethinking his future course of action.

**\-----**

Nagito has no idea how Makoto and the rest will react to a dog at the house.

If his memory serves right...he recalls the younger mentioning he likes dogs, but isn't sure if that meant enough to keep one.

_It's way too late to ask…maybe my luck can help with this too? It always seemed to work out in the end before…_

Good thing is, since he came back from his walk earlier than usual he should still have a couple hours before everyone wakes up and finds out about what he's done while he was gone.

Originally, he had considered just hosing the stray down and feeding it some leftovers before dropping it off to the adoption center in the city nearby, but…

Now he's in their bathroom preparing to give her–he was then able to check what she was–a proper bath.

He still can't properly explain it...but he's grown rather attached to the pup. 

Nagito doesn't want to get rid of her…

_Maybe I can try convincing them... I'll assure them take full responsibility for her, I won't ask for help._

_That should work._

_Ah wait...do they have allergies?_

He ponders how to confront them about that as he finishes lathering her up with soap.

"That should be enough. Time to rise your little body down."

He grabs the detachable shower head and makes sure it's on the lightest setting before spraying her down.

She doesn't fight back and seems to enjoy the water, shutting her eyes in a relaxed state.

It must've been a long time since she was last clean.

Slowly the dirt piled up on her is rinsed away, revealing her fur coat's true colors.

Contrary to what she had appeared early, she's not a dark brown dog at all. Her fur is actually light brown with white.

Any normal person would've found this to be a cute little revelation and moved on.

But not Nagito.

"T-These fur colors!" He cries out in amazement. "They match Makoto-kun's hair...and...my own?"

He holds back a laugh and grins.

"It's almost like having a tiny little illegitimate love child, but in dog form…*

He pauses, thinking about what he just said.

"Ah...what if it didn't have to be?" His face flushes at the thought. "For that to happen...it'd require marriage wouldn't it?"

And from there his mind begins to go haywire.

"The idea of me...and Makoto-kun getting married…"

Impossible, the back of his mind tells him.

But he's too far gone to care.

"Marrying Makoto-kun...marrying such hope..! But...no he's not just hope is he? He's so much more...he's…incredible."

His hands rise up to cover his face as Nagito's blush deepens. His mind starts to think up domestic fantasies with the other and the rescued stray as their adopted child.

He could buy them a cottage far off in a forest, becoming one with the beauties of nature.

Sit together by the fire with the pup in their lap and-

A splash of water to the face grabs his attention from the pup shaking off the water on her. She yaps at him demandingly, trying to express her discomfort from getting cold.

He snaps out of his fantasies and gasps.

"Ah, hush...we can't…" He whispers out.

But it's too late.

Seconds later he hears the bathroom door creaking open.

"...Nagito-kun?!"

**\-----**

Makoto never once believed Nagito's expensive gifts just fell out of the sky due to his good luck or anything like that.

While Nagito’s luck may be stronger than his own, he's sure it can't constantly provide him so many items every single morning!

That's just some crazy cover up story and he isn't falling for it at all. He knows Nagito just wants to pamper them.

He's not that naive!

_I can’t let him continue...he’s spending way too much! I appreciate the gesture behind it, but this has gone too far..._

So Makoto comes up with a plan.

_Tomorrow I'll make sure I wake up at the same time Nagito-kun does and follow him in secret, that way I can find out how he's really getting all those gifts and tell him he doesn't have to keep doing this!_

It's a great plan really.

...except for the fact that he ends up waking up late.

Way past when Nagito gets up.

_Crap! I really messed up, I forgot to set an alarm!_

He scrambles out of bed in a rush, and makes his way to get dressed quickly and then stumbles out to the hallway.

_Maybe I can still catch up to Nagito-kun and spot him-_

Wait. 

He hears...running water in the bathroom?

Makoto screeches to a halt and redirects his attention to it.

_My parents aren't up yet...neither is Komaru...so what is-_

And there's the sound of splashing water.

Followed by…a high pitched bark?!

_What the?!!_

His hand goes to the bathroom door and slowly creaks it open and the sight in front him leaves him almost speechless.

"... Nagito-kun?!!"

The older jumps at the sound of Makoto's voice and swiftly faces him, face full of shock.

"Y-You're awake?! B-But you don't wake up this early!" He cries out in a panic.

"W-Well I was trying to see what you were up to! You're always up so early you know!" Makoto spills out defensively. "But I didn't expect to see you with a dog in the bathroom!!"

"I didn't intend to, I just came across her on my walk and ended up saving her from getting run over! She's quite lucky I was there…"

"Oh you saved her!?" With that information Makoto calms down.

He walks over to them and knees down besides Nagito and takes a closer look.

The pup notices Makoto and faces him, wagging her tail. She props herself against the eye of the tub and beams her bright eyes at him.

"She's so tiny and full of energy…" He murmurs. "So cute!"

"Right? I couldn't find it in me to just abandon her after that rescue. It’s the first time I’ve done something like this..." Nagito admits.

_His first rescue...I can’t just make him send her away._

"We had a dog once...but... that was years ago. We didn't get another after that...it kinda hurt too much." He explains, feeling a little gloomy at the memory.

"I know that feeling all too well…" Nagito mumbles back sadly.

Makoto gives him an emphatic look, but decides to not touch further on the subject.

_We have a bigger...uh well smaller and fluffier issue to take care of first. Maybe I can ask later..?_

"I think maybe it's time for me to move on. My old bud will always be in my heart, but I like this puppy so much! I think I could convince Mom and Dad to keep her."

"R-Really? You think so?"

"Yeah...it was mostly because of me they didn't get another pet anyway. But I think I'm okay with it now! Plus I don't think they could say no to such a cutie anyway." Makoto reaches out to give her a small head pay and smiles. "But do you have a name for her? She's gonna need one!"

Nagito looks away, a bit flustered.

"I have to admit…I hadn't thought of that yet. I was too caught up...with... her bath."

"Oh, I see, but unless you want Komaru to jump in and name her for you, you should come up with one!"

"Hmm...well...I don't want to take all the naming credit. She wouldn't be able to stay if you weren't for you...I think maybe we should both contribute?"

"Okay, that makes sense!" Makoto agrees.

"Do you have any ideas…?"

_Name brainstorming...what would be a good name? Something that's a bit of both of us…_

_Oh I know!_

"What about an English word I learned in class a while ago?"

"H-Huh?" He replies puzzled.

He can't recall many words in English at the moment.

"You know, the word for what we both are, 'Lucky'! It's a little hard to say, but I think it suits her!" He smiles. "What do you think?"

Nagito glances back at the little puppy and then back at him and smiles back.

"You're good at name picking…Lucky is a perfect name." He approves. "I wonder if she likes it?"

A sudden lick from her to Makoto's face is all the answer he needs.

"O-Oh! I guess that's settled then." He chuckles and moves Lucky away from the edge and back down into the tub properly. "Let's finish cleaning her up, I can't wait to show her to everyone!"

Nagito nods and the two get back to work. 

Once they're done they'll have to figure out to feed her and introduce her to the rest.

He's sure they'll love her.

For the first time in years he's going to have another dog!

And he’ll get to take care of her with Nagito...

That makes Makoto’s heart warm up with joy, it gives him more reasons to be with his favorite person in the world without being too suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course I had to give them a dog, it just makes too much sense!
> 
> Oh and I hope you enjoyed the wholesome stuff...because it's about to get downhill from here


	11. Emotional Spirals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally here's another update! I haven't been feeling too great so it was hard to finish this up, sorry.
> 
> I had drafted this out a while ago, but it took me forever to polish it up! It ended up pretty lengthy this time so hopefully it makes up for it.
> 
> Not sure if I can update consistently still though, but I'll try!

Many weeks have passed since Lucky became part of the family. They've been so focused on potty training and the like that the near end of their summer has slowly crept up on them.

The two lucksters are now on their last few days and trying to make them count before returning to school.

Out in the Naegi's backyard Nagito and him sit together, taking a break from training Lucky to learn several tricks and commands.

It's been pretty successful so far. These past few sessions she's learned a lot through tons of patience, occasional goofing around, and teamwork. She's learned her name, to sit, to roll and come over when called.

The two had now been working on getting her to learn to stay, but Lucky doesn't seem very fond of that command.

She doesn't like leaving either's side and whines when told no and to stay put.

It's super cute and it makes it extremely hard for Makoto to get mad at her.

But nonetheless it is tiring, they have to struggle to pull Lucky off their legs way too often. Few progress has been made because of her clinginess…

Feeling pretty winded from spending so long teaching her, they decide to sit besides a tree and relax, taking in the cool breeze.

Neither Nagito or Makoto speak right now, just basking in a comfortable silence as they enjoy the sun's rays, listen to birds chirping, and watch the pup zoom around the yard playing with some butterflies.

This peace is something he cherishes a lot, it's a shame it'll end soon.

At least he'll see all his friends at school again! So he's not too upset.

To him friendships are to be treasured, in his eyes they're valuable and irreplaceable.

Makoto believes every person is unique in their own way, so making friends is such a treat! The chance to learn and understand a bunch of different sides to people are things he’d probably never get to know if it weren't for friendships.

Makoto gazes over to the other besides him, a sound grabbing his attention.

Lucky had scampered over to Nagito and started licking his face all over, washing his face in affection. It causes him to break out in laughter and smile profusely as he tries to lightly push her away.

Makoto lips pull upward into a smile as well at the sight and sighs with content.

_I wonder how many people have seen him this happy…_

_It's such a beautiful sight._

_I'm really glad I can see it._

If they had never become friends he would've never been able to see this side of Nagito. 

The side that genuinely laughs and smiles and just lives happily.

Otherwise they would’ve been simple acquaintances or maybe even fade into strangers...

_That's such a weird concept!_

_There's just no way…_

_I can't imagine my life without him._

That last thought makes his face dust pink. 

Nagito's friendship means so much to him— well friendships in general hold tons of value to him.

And Makoto takes pride in them, no matter how strong they are; it's an honor to bond with others. Which is why he does his best to focus on strengthening them whenever possible. It just feels right.

To bond with others is to live.

However this luckster doesn't tend to think beyond friendships.

It just doesn't come to mind, the only other he thinks about sometimes would be family.

Even then, they haven't been on his mind very recently; ever since he started dorming at Hope's Peak he's been forgetful about keeping in touch.

When it comes to connecting with people his only strong suit is being friendly.

So if Makoto were to desire...let’s say, a romantic relationship, he’d have no clue how to go about it.

At all.

It’s hard for him to grasp them and it’s not like he really thinks about them either, it doesn’t typically cross his mind.

It’s not that he isn’t aware they existed, Makoto knows oh too well they do.

His parents give each other a kiss every morning (right in front of him when eating) before going to work, and movies show cliche romances all the time, plus a lot of catchy popular songs that get stuck in his head are romantically themed.

Romance is everywhere. It's inescapable.

But honestly Makoto never strongly desired a romantic relationship for himself before.

True, he may have gotten a bit blushy around a girl before, but it's not like that was a crush or anything...right?

There were no plans of asking her out, he just felt sort of attracted? She just made him feel flustered.

That's it.

But...thinking carefully about what he feels now…

This time it has to be a crush...right?.

It sort of confuses him, it doesn’t exactly feel like how movies and shows portray it...

Makoto's not super sweaty, getting overly nervous, or having his heart race all the time...Makoto just feels really happy with that person. 

He's happy, warm, safe, and his mind is cluttered with thoughts of adoration for _him_ lately.

For Nagito.

Makoto didn't see it as abnormal at first, until he found himself thinking about Nagito ...differently than usual and way more frequently.

He'd started thinking about his hair.

_I want to run my fingers through it, and play around with some of the strands and marvel at how soft it is. I wonder if he’d let me..._

He thought about his smile.

_I really like seeing his real smile, the one he makes when he’s genuinely happy. I wish I could see that smile all the time._

He thought of his touch..

_Sometimes I just want to reach for his hand without any luck related excuses...to squeeze it softly and lean against him and reach over to his face and-_

_...and?_

_And what?_

_And…_

_…!!_

_Oh no. Nonono-_

Makoto’s face had tinted red when he noticed those weren't typical thoughts he had about his other friends at all. It’s way more...love-dovey?

It was an embarrassing realization at the time. These thoughts were so unlike him...he didn't want to accept it.

_N-No way, I don't like Nagito-kun!_

_Um, well I do, but I don't **like** like him we're just friends!_

_I-I'm just thinking too much that's all...yeah that has to be it!_

That's what he told himself at the time.

But after mulling it over for a few days...Makoto began to embrace the truth.

How could he not like Nagito?

He's sweet, thinks of others, helpful and most importantly: working on self improvement, being noticeably different from when they first started talking.

Then there's the plus that their lucks cancel out, giving them both freedom to be themselves without worry!

It feels like fate.

And sure, the beginning of their friendship was rocky, but they just didn't understand each other enough at the time and Nagito was desperately in need of a close friend.

He must’ve felt so lonely...

Fortunately, things are different now! During summer break they've been bonding more naturally and he seems more open.

And there's the fact that his family seems to really like Nagito!

And that fills him with joy because he does too. 

A whole lot.

But he isn't letting his crush make him blind to what's obvious.

Nagito may have some lingering problems, like his self deprecation and strange thought processes, but Makoto doesn't mind. He knows it'll get better. He'll help him get better, he promised.

Besides, no one's perfect.

He likes him for who he is.

And who Nagito is, is someone Makoto's fallen in... love with.

Yeah...this is more than a silly crush isn't it? He’s fallen hard.

Makoto's face burns a bright red at that inner acceptance.

_The way I feel is just so strong... it makes me want to tell him already, I can’t keep this secret forever!_

_But...I don't know when the right time to tell him is._

_I really don't want to make things awkward…_

A bead of sweat trickles down his face. Despite how optimistic he is naturally, he can’t help considering what could go wrong.

"Huh? Are you feeling alright Makoto-kun? Your face is burning up and you look dazed, is the sun too strong for your complexion?" Nagito inquires, puzzled. 

He'd successfully gotten Lucky off him a while ago and she'd returned to playing in the yard, which let him notice Makoto’s lingering gaze.

Flustered, he realizes he's been looking at the other for too long and shifts his attention elsewhere; his phone which he retrieves from his pocket.

"Eh? N-No, I think I'm fine!" He sputters out. "I-I just had something on my mind, that’s all!"

"Ah, I see. What is it then?"

"Um hah that's-!" He stumbles on how to respond.

In a panic he checks his phone's notification for an idea on what to say and notices a group chat message. He realizes this gives him the perfect opportunity to bring something else up.

_Perfect timing! I've been wanting to tell him about this._

"Oh! You know how we're almost done with our summer break right?" He scrolls through his phone and opens the group chat he'd been texting in. "I had something planned for our last day."

Intrigued, Nagito listens more carefully.

"What would that be?"

"Do you remember when you class had to apologise to us one...by one...by one?"

He frowns.

"Yes. It took up at least an hour of their time, that's something they’ll never get back…" He sighs and looks back at the ground, somber. "To think they'd get forced to apologise to some–"

"–one who deserved an apology as much as you did?" Makoto forcefully finishes his sentence for him, raising an eyebrow.

Nagito's expression is unreadable for a good moment and then breaks into a small laugh.

"I suppose I really can't get away with those sort of words around you anymore huh?"

"Only around me?! You better not be saying them when I'm not around!" Makoto sternly tells him, concern in his eyes.

"Mmm…" His eyes look off to the side, behaving as though he didn't hear that. He’s still working on that, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. "What is it that you were trying to say earlier?"

"Ah right!" Makoto had strayed so far away from his original topic he had almost forgotten about it. 

"Well, do you remember how that same day I was trying to say something to you when we were at the fountain before Hinata-kun and Nanami-san showed up?"

Nagito's face goes blank.

'Erm…sort of?" He shuts his eyes momentarily, thinking. "It's a bit hazy. I'm not that good at recalling meticulous things..."

Makoto looks at him a bit confused.

"But it wasn't that long ago?"

Nagito blinks.

"Huh...it wasn't?" He shrugs it off. "Well what did you want to say?"

"I was gonna say that I want to get you to hang out with your classmates! I want to do something about it, since it didn't seem like you ever reach out to them."

Nagito doesn't have anything to say to that. Knowing better than to try to justify his lack of socialization.

The younger blabbers on, beginning to bubble up with excitement.

"I'd been thinking about this for a while and I actually started to put a plan in motion a few days ago." He explains with a shine in his eyes. "I would have started earlier...but I didn't have Nanami-san's number. I didn't think of asking for it when we hung out, that's my mistake. But then Fujisaki-san and me were talking and told me that Nanami-san was to test out a program she made soon! That's when I then found out they're friends!"

"It makes sense thinking about it now, their talents match up... I should've thought of asking if they knew each other. Still, she gave me her number and through Nanami-san I was able to get contact with the rest of your class! I told them I wanted to find a way for us to all hang out together at once since our break is almost over, they all happily accepted without complaints!!"

Makoto states with pride and Nagito sighs, looking drained.

"You don't realize they accepted out of lingering guilt from what they did, do you?"

"Oh...that would explain why Sonia-san insisted on paying to have the entire amusement park to ourselves too..." Makoto mumbles out, a bit bummed. "Still it'll be fun!"

Nagito's face goes pale at his past few words.

"What….did you say? An…. amusement park?"

Breaking out of his deflated state, he brightens up with elation again.

"Oh right, I didn't say it yet! The hangout is gonna be at the amusement park near our school! I'd been planning this out for a while and it's perfect, we can all go and have a good time and thanks to Sonia-san there will be no one in line and we go on rides together fast. Like the rollercoaster usually takes forever to-"

"No." Nagito says bleakly, avoiding eye contact. "I'm not going."

Makoto feels his heart take a hit at that blatant rejection.

_To be shot down that quickly...ouch!!_

"H-Huh?!" He cries out. "Why not?!"

Finally, Nagito makes eye contact. It feels like it'll pierce right through him.

"...I understand you put a lot of heart into this." He begins carefully, trying not to make Makoto feel worse. "But there are some places where I don't belong. Amusement parks are one of them. Sometimes if I'm feeling brave, I'll go just to ride the carousel, it's my favorite since I was a kid. It's the only one that doesn't make me worry much. Otherwise... I do my best to avoid those places as much as possible."

He shakes his head and his eyes now start to show a hint of pain in them.

"Listen, I get that our lucks seem to drown each other out like two opposing waves at sea, but amusement parks are built to feed off of exhilarating dangerous fun. My bad luck brings takes out all the fun and leaves only actual danger. Think of those park accidents that rarely happen...with me in the mix the rates will skyrocket...none of them will make it out without an injury at best. Your luck can't stop this much power, not in a place like that."

His body has begun to tremble against his own will, making it hard to remain calm while explaining.

"Let's say, they don't get hurt or killed though. My classmates are fine at the end of the day, but..." He clenches his jaw. "But instead, **you** aren't. All because of my luck. Because of **me**."

He starts to clutch his arms tightly, distress invading his once collected face.

"It's just too much potential despair…I can't go. I can't let myself take a single step in there. You can still go, I can stay and keep training Lucky or something. Just tell me about it when you get back. I'll picture it like I was there...sorry to disappoint you..if only I weren't like this…ahahah!"

His raspy laughter rings through Makoto's ears.

Most would likely be feeling discomfort right now at how Nagito could seemingly laugh at something so disheartening, but Makoto knows there's more to it than that.

So Makoto does the only suitable thing he can right now.

Hug him.

At his touch Nagito goes limp, his defenses breaking down.

"N-Nagito-kun…" He holds him tightly. "I think I get it...you're scared of what could happen, but ...you wish you could go with us and just have fun without worrying for once don't you…?"

He remains silent for a while, but a small response eventually is uttered out 

"...y-yes-s." His voice wavers.

He can't see the other's face, but he doesn't need to in order to sense he's crying.

He leaves the embrace and notices Nagito is facing away from him. His head’s hanging down, locks of hair hiding his face and streams of tears.

Makoto reaches for one of his clammy hands and grips it tightly within his own two. Eyes shining at him with confidence and assurance. The older's mouth opens a bit in response, slightly astonished at how bright he is.

"I promise you Nagito-kun, I won't let anything bad happen. I know you're scared because of what your luck has done before and I understand I would be too, but I think you should go with us. It's not fair for you to miss out on stuff like this.”

“Plus I have a strong feeling it'll be okay. I have hope it'll work out...just believe in me and yourself. It might be risky than usual, but I just know we can control this luck together and have a good time where no one gets hurt! What do you say?"

Nagito lifts his head and gapes at the other, unsure of what to say.

"Makoto-kun I…I trust you. Your hope is inspirational, it's so strong and uplifting and I don't see how it could ever misguide me." He starts out slowly. "So… okay, I'll go. But only because you feel that it'll be alright. Just...p-please...don't leave my side. Any small moment apart...and it can ruin everything."

"I promise I won't. Not like I'd want to anyway Nagito-kun...I love spending time with you."

His face tints red and weakly smiles. "Thank you...I do too."

They stay like that for a while, enjoying each other's presence for a while.

**\-----**

It's hard to believe, but today's their last day of summer break. Tomorrow they return back to class and continue on as usual.

Normally, Makoto would be feeling extremely bummed out right about now, but he feels the exact opposite actually.

Why is that?

Because while today may be their last day, they get to spend it all at the amusement park with the rest of the 77th class!

And Hinata.

Nanami can't stand the thought of leaving him out, not that it bothers him. He's a cool guy! Nagito seems to be more accepting towards him now too so it all checks out.

Makoto glances at the clock in the living room and sees it's about an hour to 9am. 

_We have to get on our way!_

Makoto rushes Nagito out the house as quickly as he can, making sure to grasp onto his hand the entire time. The two are now off to the park on a crowded bus... it's a bit of a mood killer, but it'll pay off.

He isn't sure, but Nagito seems kind of frustrated being around so many ordinary people...or maybe he just doesn't like being squished. 

It could be both?

Either way, soon they arrived at their destination, intact, and they sped out of there, hands still glued together.

"Don't you think you're in too much of a hurry?" Nagito complains. "Slowing down wouldn't be so bad."

Makoto shakes his head and grins.

"Nope, I mean, think about it Nagito-kun! We haven't all hung out together before. Aren't you excited?"

Nagito shrugs unenthusiastically, looking tense.

"To tell you the truth, I still have my worries. I'm doing my best to ignore them for you."

Makoto's lips turn upward and gives him a soft expression, touched.

“Hey...I promise you there will be no reason to worry. Just relax! This is our last day, let's enjoy it to the fullest!"

"... I'll try." He tells him and tries to loosen up a bit.

Satisfied with his response, he directs his attention to the path they're walking on once more. 

Up ahead it looks like Sonia is waiting for them and she waves.

"Hello my cherished friends! It is with much pleasure that I not only greet you, but reveal to you a surprise!" She exclaims with a sweet smile.

_A surprise? I thought only I had one of those planned._

"Huh? What do you mean by that?" Nagito questions.

Sonia looks at them intensely while speaking, raising her hand to her chest.

"My heart is filled with much guilt and regret for what I have done still. It was unbefitting of a future queen to condemn someone to punishment with proper evidence, I apologise for that once more!" Her voice is strong yet emotional.

Nagito lifts his hands up, smiling uncomfortably.

"No, you don't need to do that again. One apology was already more than necessary. I don't blame you, why wouldn't you suspect me? I'm such a-"

"Thank you Sonia-san, what's the surprise you mentioned?"

"Well you see, while renting the entire park space out was a great gesture already, I still felt the need to do more." She weakly elucidates. "I just cannot deal! Which is why I made sure to get you special access to the park for a year!"

"A-Are you serious?! Just us?!"

Sonia nods.

"It is the least that I could do to make up for my wrongdoings done towards my friends. Please accept these."

She hands them lanyards with fancy tickets attached.

"Treat them like V.I.P passes, they work the same way. One look at those and you'll be swept to the front of any line and given your food or photos free of charge!"

"W-Wow, thanks Sonia-san you're incredible! You didn't have to...but this must've taken a lot of time to put together, I really appreciate it."

"It was really no biggie as they say! I'm just so glad to see you like it Naegi-san!"

She beams at him, and out of joy and relief she hugs the smaller for a moment. 

Makoto doesn't mind her affectionate reaction except that their height difference makes the positioning a bit... compromising.

_The guilt must've been eating away at her..._

Nagito simply watches and his face sours.

"Huhhh...huhh? What's the big deal? I could have paid for this myself." Nagito comments in disapproval. "I suppose it's a nice gift, but not really what I expected from an Ultimate."

Sonia ends the hug in order to look at Nagito with shock. Hand quickly rising up to stifle a gasp.

_He has never spoken to her like before!_

"W-What?! Is that true?!" She watches Nagito carefully, trying to see any hint of it being a joke. There aren't any. Her strong royal composure shatters. "I-I'm sorry I couldn't manage anything else on such short notice, would a lifetime's supply of my country's chocolate make up for this? It is our popular specialty! P-Please wait, I'll have them shipped at once!"

She doesn't wait for a response and hastily pulls out her phone with her shaky finger about to punch in some numbers; Makoto stops her mid press by lowering her hand.

"N-No that's okay! Nagito-kun was just uh...testing your hope?" Makoto inwardly cringes at that excuse, this is such a desperate cover up. Nagito's eyes go colder, but he doesn't say a word. "We b-both really appreciate what you've done already. Thank you."

"Is that really it? Very well…I can see that being something he would do...he does have his strange hope obsession after all." She accepts the explanation, despite being a little doubtful. "I wouldn't want to actually disappoint… that aside, feel free to step in and have fun whenever! I am going to wait here to greet everyone else who arrives."

"Oh okay! Thanks again Sonia-san, see you later!"

Makoto pulls Nagito through the entrance, walking at a normal pace as he waves goodbye at the princess. 

Then once they're far away enough he charges into a stride all the way over to the closest location. A small food court.

He checks his surroundings making sure they're alone before sharply facing the other, visibly upset.

"What was that?!"

"...what was what?"

"You were extremely rude to Sonia-san! Why'd you do that?! She's trying her best!"

The older sighs and crosses his arms.

"I simply said what I was thinking, honesty is the best policy isn’t it? I wasn't impressed." His eyes glare at him. "And I don't get why you were so grateful, I could've bought that for you and so much more, but you never let me do those things. You weren’t happy when I did it in secret."

"W-Well of course, that was different!" Makoto argues.

"I don't understand. How so?" He gives him a disconcerted look.

"Well for starters, she had already had these ready before letting me know and-"

"But that's what I did."

"Well yes, but it's not like I could've said no! It would've been rude, she’s a princess! Besides, I don't think these are refundable." He points out embarrassed.

"... the things I bought weren't either." Nagito is now upset as well, head facing down. "Tell me, what am I doing wrong...?”

_It’s like I'm tripping over my own words!! I can't explain myself right!_

_I like Nagito-kun too much to let him spend so much on me, I don’t want to take advantage!_

“Nagito-kun, please, it’s-”

"I just want to spoil you Makoto-kun...you deserve all the gifts in the world and more. What’s so wrong about that?"

Makoto's face turns a bright red.

That was unexpected.

"H-Huh?!–"

"Hey guys! You're here early too?" A voice calls to them from behind.

They both swing their heads to its source and see Nanami with Hinata walking over.

"Nanami-san! Hinata-kun!" Makoto shouts, sounding a little too relieved. "I'm so glad you're here."

Nagito looks away, squeezing Makoto's hand, like a reminder to think about what he said.

"We didn't expect to see you guys, we were just kinda lost." Hinata says sheepishly. "I don't really go to amusement parks."

"Me neither." Nanami agrees.

"Well that's because you're always playing games instead…"

Nanami puffs her cheeks in annoyance.

"I get immersed in them, it's not on purpose! At least I'm here now, that makes up for it...I think?" She wonders. “Anyway, we were thinking of taking on the biggest rollercoaster here, do you want to go with us?”

“Of course!” Makoto eagerly agrees and turns to seek Nagito’s approval.

He nods, albeit with not much enthusiasm.

The four head off to the ride, and climb on board to their seats and secure their seatbelts tight.

Makoto feels Nagito’s grip get tighter and he rubs it lightly in circles with his thumb as reassurance.

\-----

The ride on the rollercoaster wasn't nearly as bad as Nagito had expected it to be.

Nothing went wrong at all, it was all just a rush of wind filled screams of thrill.

He found himself smiling with enjoyment despite tightly holding onto Makoto's hand as if life depended on it.

It looks like he might've over did it...the younger's poor hand turned red from how hard he held it, but he couldn't help it…there was too much underlining fear in him.

But after they all survived that ride...he thinks he can loosen up at least a little and experience the park how it's supposed to be.

"See? I knew we'd be okay! Aren't you glad you came with us?" Makoto beamed as they exited the rollercoaster area.

"Yes...it wasn't bad." He answers a bit embarrassed. "I'm having fun…"

Makoto grins, then notices Nanami approach him for a moment, ushering Makoto over to talk with her in private.

"O-Oh sorry, I'll be right back!"

He lets his hand slip out of Nagito's for the first time that day and Nagito notices how empty he feels without his touch. 

He hadn't expected them to separate so suddenly.

A panic begins to bubble up within him as he watches the two converse from afar causing him to clench onto his arm tight, however this doesn't last long as a voice speaks.

"H-Hey Komaeda...Komaeda-kun sorry. It's still sort of weird "

Hinata had walked up to him.

"Ah, what is it?" He manages to keep his voice leveled.

"Um, well don't worry about them. They're just ...figuring out where to meet up later, me and Nanami-san are going to a different spot in the park, but we'll catch you guys later."

He waves him goodbye and goes over to Nanami and they walk off together and Makoto scurries back, looking flustered.

"S-Sorry I took long!"

"You didn't take long Makoto-kun, there's no need to apologize." Nagito studies his face carefully before continuing. "What did Nanami-san say?"

"U-Uh nothing really, I was just trying to find out where to find the rest of your classmates! I-I think some are at the ferris wheel l-let's go!" 

Finally their hands meet again, but it doesn't feel as secure somehow...maybe because he senses Makoto is hiding something.

\-----

The rest of the day went by smoothly as Makoto had planned. They were able to meet up with everyone from Class-77 across the park and had a blast together and it was a blast. Nagito never had so much fun in a single day before.

At the ferris wheel they rode in the same booth as Mioda, Saionji, Tsumiki and Koizumi who yanked them over to pose for photos together once they reached the top.

In the bumper cars they went against Nidai, Souda, and Owari who all seemed to be a bit too enthusiastic about smacking into them. There was a bit too much of a competitive flare in their eyes.

Makoto dragged Nagito out of there after a while, that place wasn't going to be safe for long. He swears he saw Souda digging into the circuitry.

They ended up passing by Hinata and Nanami once again at the food stands, but those two were stuck listening to Hanamura and the Imposter–who was dressed as Togami–rant about how bad quality the food there was.

Nagito didn't really find it to be bad, but if an ultimate says it's bad it must be true. He ended up tossing the meal which he had just got moments ago) away. Makoto didn’t approve.

While trying to win prizes at several booths they found Pekoyama and Kuzuryu struggling to win anything while Tanaka proudly flaunted his Zodiac Generals’ accuracy and precision, bringing him piles and piles of goodies won by them.

Which was followed by frustrated remarks calling that cheating, but Sonia cheered him on nonetheless, impressed by it all.

However those complaints only got louder when Nagito joined in.

The day went by fast and before he knew it night had fallen and they'd gone just about everywhere they could, everyone would have to get going soon.

"H-Hey uh Nagito-kun... it's getting pretty late isn't it?"

"It is, isn't it? I lost track of time. I hadn't even noticed the sun setting!"

Makoto chuckles a bit and sighs.

"I hadn't either...but, uh, there’s somewhere I really want to go before we leave. J-Just the two of us."

"Oh, I'll gladly go with you Makoto-kun, where is it?"

Makoto silently guides the older over to the location, coming face to face with a brightly lit up carousel.

"H-Huh? The carousel…?"

_He wanted to take me to my favorite ride…?_

_This must be coincidence, why would he remember something so insignificant?_

"Y-Yeah! Let's get on!"

Makoto starts climbing on board one of the horses and signals him over to join him.

Confused, he follows and sits on a horse in front. Nagito turns around in order to fit their hands together just in case, leaning on the pole behind. It's a bit difficult because of the space between each horse, but manageable.

It probably looks silly, especially with them being the only ones there...but neither really mind the precaution.

Slowly but surely, the carousel begins to spin and spin.

And the two are left facing each other in the illuminated seats, in a comfortable silence that doesn't last long.

"Uh...I just...I wanted to talk to you about something today. And I thought it would be a good idea to do it on your favorite ride…'saving the best for last' type of thing."

Nagito's heart skips.

_So he did remember…!_

Touched, he smiles warmly at the younger.

"I'm surprised you retained that information, I said it so offhandedly too! No one ever listens that well to me!" He chuckles. "But I suppose I should've expected it since you're always so kind, Makoto-kun!"

He sheepishly grins and darts his eyes away momentarily.

"Haha...yeah...well you deserve to have people care about you more. Y-You're really not at all like they say you are!! There's so much more to you!" Makoto's face flushes. "I know you don't do it as much anymore, but I don't get why they didn't like your hope talks either...I thought they were nice."

Nagito looks away, focusing on the way the seats bob up and down along with the spins.

"No...I know why. It didn't mean much to begin with."

"B-But that's not true! If it's important to you then it has to mean something, besides I sort of understand it. Hope... it helps me look forward and just... go for it!"

His heart skips a beat.

"But it's not as strong as I thought. It's stupid really...and I relied on it too much, no wonder everyone hated when I’d talk about it."

"Well I think that as long you believe in the hope that's inside you, it can be as strong as you need it to be. If you approach it like that, I’m sure they’d listen more."

Nagito's thoughts feel muddled.

"I don't think... that's possible for me. There's no way that...I could have…...I just make things worse..." He mumbles as he squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to recall moments that prove his point.

As he reopens them he notices Makoto's composure has relaxed more and the way his eyes seem to shine.

"Of course it is. There's so much good in you, I know it's hard for you to see yourself that way, that's okay." Makoto utters with rosy cheeks. "You’ll get there and I’m going to help you like I promised. But you're wrong, you haven’t made my life worse."

_H-Huh?_

His mouth feels dry.

_Is this...what I think it is?_

Part of him hopes it is ~~n't~~.

"I was struggling on convincing myself to do this earlier, I had to text Nanami-san about it to get motivated enough to do it. That’s when she called me over and insisted it's not game over if you haven't even tried. Still, I thought someone as ordinary as me shouldn't bother. Especially when all I have going for me is being extra gung-ho." He explains, embarrassed. "But I have a hunch you won’t be mad or anything so... I can say it now! I feel like I can. I just _really_ hope you feel the same."

Nagito can feel blood rushing to his face.

It's not hard for him to understand what's happening next.

No longer is only the ride spinning, but his head too.

Everything's starting to feel way too fast.

It's making him dizzy.

Makoto places his other remaining hand upon their interlocked hands as well and lightly squeezes. He locks eye contact, with the most sincere and sweet expression Nagito's ever seen.

"What I want to tell you is...I-I love you Nagito."

And at that moment Nagito's world feels like it's come to a screeching halt.

_WHAT?!!_

_He loves me?!_

His mouth drops and eyes pop open wide as he blushes profusely, his pale skin burning redder than it ever has.

Nagito's never felt so emotionally conflicted before.

 _Thiscantbehappeningthere'snowaythiswasn'tsupposedto-_ -

His head starts to pound from distress.

 **It** hurts.

Woozy and startled he yanks his hand back in a panic and jolts back from the force of it all.

…

Two loud thuds are heard back to back as Nagito smacks his head hard against the pole behind him from the momentum, he'd forgotten it was there.

Feeling light headed, the impact causes him to go unconscious within seconds and he limply slides off the horse and collapses onto the ground

It all happens so fast that Makoto can't react to anything other than the fall, to which he cries out in horror.

"N-NAGITO!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And from here things will take a turn...


End file.
